Physically, I had several odd things happening. I just shrugged them off and kept moving. When, in conversation, I mentioned one 'symptom' to a friend, her red flag went up immediately. She urged me to get it checked out. I shrugged it off as 'just getting older'. Yet, several other things started creeping up, none of them seemed related to me, none of them seriously, mostly just annoying.
When I went in for my annual check-up I mentioned them to my doctor. Her reaction was more like my friend's than mine. Her expression and the questions that followed showed me that it wasn't nothing and it certainly wasn't aging. She told me what she thought it was and assured me it was something that could be taken care of without surgery or anything major ... but it was definitely something.
In fact, when I left, I didn't go straight home, I went down to the lab to get blood drawn ... a lot of blood for a lot of tests that she ordered. As a person who's been healthy all of her life, it was a little intimidating.
A few weeks later, I went back for my results. It wasn't what my doctor thought I had but it was something else. Still something treatable and actually not as bad as what she initially thought it was. I'd have to take medicine and they'd have to monitor my blood periodically to make sure the medicine was working but I was okay.
Yet, while waiting for the results, I had some time to think, and if I'm being honest, to worry. However, the one comforting thought I had was that no matter what knowing is better than not knowing. Whatever it was, knowing would let me have the facts. I could formulate a plan of action. I could do something about whatever it was.
Knowing is better than wondering, suspecting or just sweeping it under the rug. Ignorance wasn't bliss, it was silly. It was annoying. It left me with questions. Now, I have answers and, more than that, I have a plan. I know what I need to do. I have control and direction ... things I could never have if I had continued to live in ignorance and walk around in darkness.
Thanks for sharing this post Karyn. I definitely agree that knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying. The truth hurts sometimes, but trying to keep an obvious truth hidden inside yourself can hurt even more. Making excuses doesn't help. Bringing yourself to a painful but honest realization will actually do you more good.
ReplyDeleteThanks again and keep your posts coming! :)
Thanks Kent! You are so right about failing. The only way not to fail and not to try and not trying is just not acceptable!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by.