The Writing's on the Wall

It’s easier some times to stick your head in the sand. And, as the saying goes, “Ignorance is bliss.” Refusing to see the signs that are flashing in front of your face may seem easier in the short run, the long-term consequences of refusing to look at the facts can have devastating consequences.

Often after seeing someone else’s fate, we comfort ourselves by saying, “Whew! That could never happen to me.” However, if you are dealing with the same person who inflicted the pain or caused the situation, know that it could very well happen to you. In fact, it probably will. The chronic cheater will probably cheat on you too. The boss from hell will eventually pull you down to her level. Watch how people treat others and you’ll have a good idea how they will, most likely, treat you.

Other times, we make excuses for people’s behavior. An excuses, even if it’s unplausible or unlikely, is easier to believe than the truth of the matter. A co-worker takes credit for your work and you rationalize that you both worked on it and the lack of acknowledgement is an oversight. But, especially if you can combine that with other underhanded behaviors, there is a good chance that it is exactly what you thought it was.

Then there are times when we see the behavior, acknowledge it and still refuse to act on our knowledge. Inertia is a powerful force to overcome – doing nothing is easier than doing anything else. After all, acting on your knowledge will take a lot of work, rock the boat, upset the status quo or involve stepping on someone else toes.

Reading the writing on the wall provides you with truth and gives you the opportunity to prepare yourself for what’s ahead. In this case, the writing isn’t graffiti to be ignored or cleaned up. It’s a gift. Treat it as one.

Ignorance Is Not Bliss

Right now, I'm dealing with a health concern. It isn't life-threatening but it is something I am taking care of. It's something I should have taken care of at least a year ago.

Physically, I had several odd things happening. I just shrugged them off and kept moving. When, in conversation, I mentioned one 'symptom' to a friend, her red flag went up immediately. She urged me to get it checked out. I shrugged it off as 'just getting older'. Yet, several other things started creeping up, none of them seemed related to me, none of them seriously, mostly just annoying.

When I went in for my annual check-up I mentioned them to my doctor. Her reaction was more like my friend's than mine. Her expression and the questions that followed showed me that it wasn't nothing and it certainly wasn't aging. She told me what she thought it was and assured me it was something that could be taken care of without surgery or anything major ... but it was definitely something.

In fact, when I left, I didn't go straight home, I went down to the lab to get blood drawn ... a lot of blood for a lot of tests that she ordered. As a person who's been healthy all of her life, it was a little intimidating.

A few weeks later, I went back for my results. It wasn't what my doctor thought I had but it was something else. Still something treatable and actually not as bad as what she initially thought it was. I'd have to take medicine and they'd have to monitor my blood periodically to make sure the medicine was working but I was okay.

Yet, while waiting for the results, I had some time to think, and if I'm being honest, to worry. However, the one comforting thought I had was that no matter what knowing is better than not knowing. Whatever it was, knowing would let me have the facts. I could formulate a plan of action. I could do something about whatever it was.

Knowing is better than wondering, suspecting or just sweeping it under the rug. Ignorance wasn't bliss, it was silly. It was annoying. It left me with questions. Now, I have answers and, more than that, I have a plan. I know what I need to do. I have control and direction ... things I could never have if I had continued to live in ignorance and walk around in darkness.

Is Just Enough Good Enough?

I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine. She described me as a Type A personality. I disagreed. Yet, as we continued to talk, I realized that we had different definitions of Type A. According to my friend, someone with determination and drive is a Type A. In my mind, a Type A person is someone who is very competitive, unyielding and who has a difficulty being flexible. So I guess using her definition I would be a Type A.

As we continued to talk, she said that I was one of those people who'd always be striving because nothing for me would ever be 'good enough'. I disagreed with that assessment, wholeheartedly ... but it did get me to start thinking about it.

We live in a society that pushes us to do, achieve and have more. Why have a Mazda, if you could have a Mercedes? Sure, you enjoy your job but wouldn't you rather be a manager? Yes, the 27" flat screen is nice but wouldn't you rather have the 40" or even a 60"?

I was late getting into the smartphone craze and my first smartphone was an old bulky Blackberry. When I ran into a problem and took it into T-Mobile, the salesman exclaimed loudly that I was on an 'old' phone. Several other patrons turned and looked at me.

I explained that I had a problem, and I wanted my problem fixed. What I did not want (or need) was a new phone. I wasn't phased. I wasn't embarrassed. I wasn't going to let this kid make me feel bad about my phone!

For me, I'm perfectly fine driving my Mazda and not owning an iPad, iPhone, iPod or iAnything Else. I like my house, I don't need a bigger one. For me, these things are good enough and I don't need, miss or crave anything more.

Yet, there are areas where just enough is not good enough. I want to write more books. I want to sell more books. I want to grow my business. I want to get married. I think there is a lot of room for growth in my career and in my personal life. In these areas, I want more and what I have now is not enough.

So what am I saying?

I'm saying that we need to determine when just enough is good enough and when it's not. And, it goes further than that. If we determine that what we have and where we are is not good enough, then we need to be prepared to roll up our sleeves and work harder, smarter and differently.

I think the disconnect for a lot of us comes when we want more but we aren't willing to do more. In those cases, I think it's important to have a serious conversation with yourself. Basically, you need to decide if what you say you want really is what you want. If it is, you need to find a way to motivate and push yourself to move forward. If you really don't want to put in the work, that's fine too, just accept that truth and learn to be content where you are. There isn't anything wrong with that if you are being true to yourself.

Lies We Tell

According to an iVillage poll, 95% of women responding came clean about telling little harmless white lies. What was shocking to me is that 65% admitted to lying to themselves. What are they lying about? Mainly, these women lie about weight-related issues. They lie about how much they weight or how many calories they’ve consumed.

I don’t actually see the point of lying to yourself about anything but especially about something as concrete as the number staring back at you on the scale or how much you’ve eaten. It’s sort of like lying about what’s in the bank, either it’s there or it isn’t. When it comes to dieting, a realistic approach is essential.

How can you ever improve a situation if you don’t own up to the truth of that situation? Granted, if you feel the need to lie about it, it probably isn’t good. Yet, how can you really make things better if you don’t start with a clear snapshot of what you’re dealing with. The key is to not beat yourself up when you know the truth. Lying about it is temporary at best and will never lead to any improvement. Accept the truth but don’t accept the self flagellation and harsh words that usually come with it.

Your mantra should be “Now that I know the truth, I can deal with it.” Remember the first step to solving any problem is looking at that problem as exactly what it is. Once you’ve done that, you’re in a position to do something about it … and that’s when the real fun begins.