Heritage, History ... and Hate?

Fly it over your own house; just
don't fly it over the statehouse.

I live 10 minutes away from South Carolina. The grief, confusion and anger over the nine people who lost their lives in Charleston is real. While we wait to see how this saga plays out, it has reopened the discussion of removing the Confederate flag from flying atop the South Carolina statehouse. I believe it is time to take it down.

Proponents of the flag cite ‘heritage’ as a reason it should continue to fly. They say, it isn’t even the Confederate flag. It is a battle flag flown by Confederate troops in Northern Virginia. I’m not going to dispute the history of the battle flag.

However, since that time, it has been appropriated by racists and Klansmen. It has been draped over lynching victims and used to terrorize Black people. For many South Carolinian and black people nationwide, the heritage it represents is one of hate, intolerance and violence.

With so many constituents offended by it, it should not be flown over a government building. Sell it in stores (I think Walmart, Sears and eBay should continue selling it). If it represents Southern heritage, then fly it proudly on your cars, over your home or even your churches, just don’t fly something so divisive over the statehouse. It is a slap in the face to a large portion of South Carolinian.

Here is the thing. Symbols change over time.

For centuries, the emblem known as a swastika was a symbol of prosperity for several Eastern religions. It was a positive symbol. Then Adolf Hitler and the Nazi party got a hold of it. And now? No one really cares about the heritage of that flag anymore. In Western society, it is synonymous with hate and Antisemitism.

I am not equating Confederate flag wavers with Nazis. I make the comparison to show that for a significant number of people a symbol of heritage has come to stand for something else – something darker, more sinister and even deadly.

Out of compassion, out of empathy, out of love, it should go.

NOTE: This topic comes with strong emotions. Notice, I did not insult or curse when stating my opinion. If you plan on stating yours, please show the same respect.

Get It Together Girl Blog - The Reboot

This glass is half-full - but the good
news is that it can be refilled!

July 10, 2008 is the date of my very first blog post. Back then, it was called, Lose the Excuses. I have been blogging faithfully ever since to inspire, inform and share my life with readers. At this point, I’m almost 800 posts in … or at least I should be.

I changed my blog host last year. Due to an issue with the host, I have just lost an entire year’s worth of blog posts. I was annoyed yesterday as I talked with tech support. I was infuriated when I was told they could recover my posts … but it would cost me. I passed on that and decided to take the loss.

I went back to my old blog host, about 100 posts lighter, but that is okay. I had to redesign this template to reflect my new website design and it took me about an hour but now I’m back in business.

The Get It Together Girl Blog continues.

Actually, I think this will be a good thing.

Lessons from Jake: Dog Fight!

I spent last week back home in Cleveland, and I took my dog Jake with me. If I didn’t think Jake needed a dog trainer before, I know he does now. He and my dad’s dog Bentley were natural enemies from the start. They were kept in separate sides of the house. It was crazy! What’s a poor pet owner to do!

I’ve had Jake for just a few months but he has taught me a lot so far. His ‘issues’ with Bentley made me think, “What happens when we humans encounter people that just rub us the wrong way?”

I’m a chronic (and recovering) people pleaser. I really, really, really want everyone to like me. However, as I’ve gotten older, I have realized that some people just don’t like me … and that’s okay. There are also people (not many but a few) that rub me the wrong way … and that is okay, too.

Here are four things to keep in mind when you find yourself dealing with someone you just don’t like.

1. Functional, not friendly. You can be cordial. You don’t have to be besties but acting respectfully and making basic conversation should be possible.
2.  Don’t share your dislike. Everyone doesn’t have to know how you feel about this person, this is especially true if they are family members!
3. Limit your contact. Chances are you’ll have to see this person at some time. However, you don’t need to sit right next to them on a 12-hour road trip or rub elbows with them over Thanksgiving dinner!
4. Don’t do the drama! Yes, you aren’t crazy about this person. Yes, they probably aren’t crazy about you either. However, do not dissect their every move or comment, looking for dirt. Looking for ways to dislike the person even more isn’t productive or helpful.

You might be oil and the other person could be vinegar. It's okay. Dislike doesn't have to descend into disgust. It is what it is. In the meantime, Jake will have a seat in some training program very soon!

Talkin' BlogTalkRadio!

There are as many reasons for having a BlogTalkRadio show as there are BlogTalkRadio hosts. The overwhelming majority of host get paid little to nothing to do their shows. However, a quick listen and you’ll find a lot of people with a lot of passion coming over the Internet airwaves. On tonight’s show, I’ll be talking to two members of my BlogTalkRadio family about their shows and why they do what they do.

Tekneshia Day is the host of The Bright Side with Teknesia which airs daily at noon and handles a myriad of topics. A trained journalist, BlogTalkRadio is part of Tekneshia’s way of branding herself as a broadcaster.

Myra Hunn is the host of Endless Encouragement. After a life filled with ups and downs, Myra knows first-hand how important encouragement is. Her show is perfect for people looking for a dose of positivity.

I love talking to passionate people and tonight’s show will be great because I’m talking to two passionate women.

Dads Rock!

Sure, it's the day after Father's Day, but it's never too late to celebrate dads. Tonight's show is dedicated to great dads. While we always hear about the absentee and dead bet dads, there are a lot of men who are doing a great job raising their kids and quietly take care of business. Saladin Davis is the oauthor of Life 101 and became a dad at the tender age of 13. Glenn Chester is one of the founders of BMRGA, Black Men Raising Girls Alone. Hogan Hilling is one of the co-authors of Dads Behaving Dadly.
Join us tonight, it will be a great show. In the meantime, here is a big of a tearjerker from Dove about dads.

Life Just Got Awesome!

A week ago today, my job ended and I set out on the journey of entrepreneurship. My workplace had become toxic and hostile and was only getting worse. As my work environment worsened, a  small voice continually whispered to me, “If you step out on faith and leave this job, you will not fall.”

As bad as things were, I had a reliable paycheck and benefits. Things were comfortable. Yet that same voice said, “Sometimes you have to give up good in order to move to great.” I had been preparing for this transition and when it came, I was neither surprised nor saddened. In fact, I was ready. I had planned for it.

I woke up Thursday morning to a whole new world. Gone was the stress and frustration. I worked out for the first time in a long time. The desire to ‘stress eat’, which I’d been doing daily at work, was gone. Just like that, I left it all behind. Immediately, I started working my plan.

If I feel any pressure, I feel the pressure to produce. I don’t have the safety net of a guaranteed paycheck. But, that’s okay. I move forward everyday with the confident assurance that things will work out.

I have the incredible opportunity to create my life my way and on my terms. I can do what I love and create a career that reflects my skills, my desires and my personality. Corporate America was not for me and if I have my way, I won’t go back to it. Every day, I heard, “Karyn you talk too much,” “Karyn sit down at your desk, you don’t want to be seen walking around too much,” “Karyn, don’t say that or tell that joke,” “Karyn don’t sing,” “Karyn, for goodness sake, stop dancing!”

Now, working for myself, I’ll talk as much as I want. I’ll walk around if I feel like it. I will tell as many corny jokes as I want to and my work day will have singing and dancing breaks built-in, thank you very much!

I am looking forward to growing my show, selling my books and becoming an in-demand professional speaker.

Last Wednesday, my life got awesome and it is only going to get better!

In Praise of Sister-Friends

Good friends are one of the things that make life worth living. I’m not talking about acquaintances but truly good friends, the ones who stand by you through thick and thin. They celebrate your successes with you and are right there with you with a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on or a gentle spirit when you go through your low points and setbacks.

I’ve been blessed with several good friends. While I don’t have a husband or a child of my own, I have a family of good sister-friends (and one brother-friend). What I love about friendship is that unlike family, you pick your friends and they both reflect and magnify what you are. You pick people who get you. You pick people who understand you. You pick people who support you and who you support as well.

Good friends truly are a blessing and if you have one or some, don’t hesitate to tell them how much they mean to you and add to your life.