Lessons from Jake: Dog Fight!

I spent last week back home in Cleveland, and I took my dog Jake with me. If I didn’t think Jake needed a dog trainer before, I know he does now. He and my dad’s dog Bentley were natural enemies from the start. They were kept in separate sides of the house. It was crazy! What’s a poor pet owner to do!

I’ve had Jake for just a few months but he has taught me a lot so far. His ‘issues’ with Bentley made me think, “What happens when we humans encounter people that just rub us the wrong way?”

I’m a chronic (and recovering) people pleaser. I really, really, really want everyone to like me. However, as I’ve gotten older, I have realized that some people just don’t like me … and that’s okay. There are also people (not many but a few) that rub me the wrong way … and that is okay, too.

Here are four things to keep in mind when you find yourself dealing with someone you just don’t like.

1. Functional, not friendly. You can be cordial. You don’t have to be besties but acting respectfully and making basic conversation should be possible.
2.  Don’t share your dislike. Everyone doesn’t have to know how you feel about this person, this is especially true if they are family members!
3. Limit your contact. Chances are you’ll have to see this person at some time. However, you don’t need to sit right next to them on a 12-hour road trip or rub elbows with them over Thanksgiving dinner!
4. Don’t do the drama! Yes, you aren’t crazy about this person. Yes, they probably aren’t crazy about you either. However, do not dissect their every move or comment, looking for dirt. Looking for ways to dislike the person even more isn’t productive or helpful.

You might be oil and the other person could be vinegar. It's okay. Dislike doesn't have to descend into disgust. It is what it is. In the meantime, Jake will have a seat in some training program very soon!

Talkin' BlogTalkRadio!

There are as many reasons for having a BlogTalkRadio show as there are BlogTalkRadio hosts. The overwhelming majority of host get paid little to nothing to do their shows. However, a quick listen and you’ll find a lot of people with a lot of passion coming over the Internet airwaves. On tonight’s show, I’ll be talking to two members of my BlogTalkRadio family about their shows and why they do what they do.

Tekneshia Day is the host of The Bright Side with Teknesia which airs daily at noon and handles a myriad of topics. A trained journalist, BlogTalkRadio is part of Tekneshia’s way of branding herself as a broadcaster.

Myra Hunn is the host of Endless Encouragement. After a life filled with ups and downs, Myra knows first-hand how important encouragement is. Her show is perfect for people looking for a dose of positivity.

I love talking to passionate people and tonight’s show will be great because I’m talking to two passionate women.

Dads Rock!

Sure, it's the day after Father's Day, but it's never too late to celebrate dads. Tonight's show is dedicated to great dads. While we always hear about the absentee and dead bet dads, there are a lot of men who are doing a great job raising their kids and quietly take care of business. Saladin Davis is the oauthor of Life 101 and became a dad at the tender age of 13. Glenn Chester is one of the founders of BMRGA, Black Men Raising Girls Alone. Hogan Hilling is one of the co-authors of Dads Behaving Dadly.
Join us tonight, it will be a great show. In the meantime, here is a big of a tearjerker from Dove about dads.

Life Just Got Awesome!

A week ago today, my job ended and I set out on the journey of entrepreneurship. My workplace had become toxic and hostile and was only getting worse. As my work environment worsened, a  small voice continually whispered to me, “If you step out on faith and leave this job, you will not fall.”

As bad as things were, I had a reliable paycheck and benefits. Things were comfortable. Yet that same voice said, “Sometimes you have to give up good in order to move to great.” I had been preparing for this transition and when it came, I was neither surprised nor saddened. In fact, I was ready. I had planned for it.

I woke up Thursday morning to a whole new world. Gone was the stress and frustration. I worked out for the first time in a long time. The desire to ‘stress eat’, which I’d been doing daily at work, was gone. Just like that, I left it all behind. Immediately, I started working my plan.

If I feel any pressure, I feel the pressure to produce. I don’t have the safety net of a guaranteed paycheck. But, that’s okay. I move forward everyday with the confident assurance that things will work out.

I have the incredible opportunity to create my life my way and on my terms. I can do what I love and create a career that reflects my skills, my desires and my personality. Corporate America was not for me and if I have my way, I won’t go back to it. Every day, I heard, “Karyn you talk too much,” “Karyn sit down at your desk, you don’t want to be seen walking around too much,” “Karyn, don’t say that or tell that joke,” “Karyn don’t sing,” “Karyn, for goodness sake, stop dancing!”

Now, working for myself, I’ll talk as much as I want. I’ll walk around if I feel like it. I will tell as many corny jokes as I want to and my work day will have singing and dancing breaks built-in, thank you very much!

I am looking forward to growing my show, selling my books and becoming an in-demand professional speaker.

Last Wednesday, my life got awesome and it is only going to get better!

In Praise of Sister-Friends

Good friends are one of the things that make life worth living. I’m not talking about acquaintances but truly good friends, the ones who stand by you through thick and thin. They celebrate your successes with you and are right there with you with a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on or a gentle spirit when you go through your low points and setbacks.

I’ve been blessed with several good friends. While I don’t have a husband or a child of my own, I have a family of good sister-friends (and one brother-friend). What I love about friendship is that unlike family, you pick your friends and they both reflect and magnify what you are. You pick people who get you. You pick people who understand you. You pick people who support you and who you support as well.

Good friends truly are a blessing and if you have one or some, don’t hesitate to tell them how much they mean to you and add to your life.

Forgive ... and Forget????

I found this video by Dr. Paul that talks about forgiving and forgetting. He takes a realistic approach that states there may be some things that aren't forgiveable or that you don't want to forget. His focus is on relationships but what he says can be applied to a lot of different situations.

Want to be Happy (or Happier)? Tonight on Get It Together Girl Radio!

Personally, I don't think it is possible to be truly happy without gratitude and passion. When I talk about gratitude, I mean being thankful for what you have right now. It might not be what you want and you might not be where you want to be but you should be grateful for where you are right now. On the continuum of life, things could be better but they could also be a lot worse. Hillis Pugh, author of the book and blog, Thank You Thursdays, have a great conversation about what it means to be truly grateful and what to do when you are going through a difficult time and not feeling particularly thankful.

Next, I have a talk with transformational life coach Lana Green. Her take on finding your passion is slightly different from what you might think. Here's a hint, it's not really about what you do or don't do. I found Lana to be a very provocative interview and her take on passion and purpose are both refreshing and realistic.

Jake

My partner-in-crime Marty passed in September. A toy poodle, we were together for over a decade. He was the closest thing I had to a child. He was my baby. The grief was hard. Yet part of me missed canine companionship.

I sort of felt though that a new dog would be cheating on Marty. I decided to go to an adoption event. I didn’t find a dog there. But I started looking, I saw Toby, an adorable poodle mix with a cute underbite online and he was perfect. I instantly knew that this was the dog Marty wanted me to have.

My dad had a dog and he and Marty became best friends. They ate out of the same bowl, slept together on the same part of the sofa; they were inseparable. He was a poodle mix with a cute under bite and his name was Toby.

He’d been picked up from a shelter and was staying with a foster family. When I went to meet him, it was a done deal. He jumped into my lap and fell asleep. His foster parents were amazed at how quickly we bonded. In fact, they felt that he chose me as much as I chose him.

I am definitely a pet parent. Having Jake (I changed his name) has added that missing component to my life. Jake isn’t Marty. They are two very different dogs. The space in my heart for Marty will always be there and it will always be just for him. But Jake is occupying another space in my heart. There is room for both.

Tonight's Show: Secrets to Relationship Success

Men and women are different, we all know that. However, author of Relationship Rules and relationship expert, Janice Hoffman, uses those differences to get down to the things that both genders share – a desire to love and be loved. Her mentor, Dr. John Gray is the author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. She will be sharing tips from her toolbox on what we can do to help our relationships thrive.

Next up, Toni Henderson-Mayers  discusses her book, Wise Courtship. She has a three-step process for discovering the true character of your love interest. We’ll also discuss red flags and how much you really know about your partner. Toni challenges singles to make wise choices when choosing a partner. Are you up for the challenge?

Time for a Change

“So how’s that working for you?” This is Dr. Phil’s favorite question and when he asks it, the answer is usually ‘No’. Basically, it comes after the person he is interviewing describes their current situation and the behaviors that have led them to the show. Frankly, what they are doing isn’t working.

Tipping the scale at the heaviest I’ve ever been, I decided it was time for a change. I headed back to Weight Watchers. I had successfully lost weight on the program before and I was sure I could do it again. When I tell people I’m on the program, I get either one of two responses.

The first group of people are excited and happy for me. The second group says something like “I can’t count Points.” This is the beginning of a list of reasons why the plan wouldn’t work for them. First of all, I am not trying to recruit people. I’m doing this for me so whether or not the plan is for them is inconsequential.

Second, if what I was doing (fast food, sugary snacks, large portion sizes, occasional exercise) was working, I wouldn’t need Weight Watchers. If I wanted a change, I need to do something different. Different results require different actions. I could count points, purchase a lot of Jenny Craig or Nutri-System meals, eliminate carbs, take the latest weight loss pills, or kill myself at the gym,  but something would have to change.

The key is finding the right change for me. And although I am using weight loss as an example, this applies to any area where a change is desired. Want to save money? You have to change your spending. Want an improved relationship? You are both going to have to do some things differently if you want it to work.

Ask yourself, “How’s this working for me.?” If the answer is no, you know what you need to do!

Tonight's Show: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life!

I was a member of a church in Cleveland and every week we’d sing a song. The lyrics were simple but the meaning was profound.

Our thoughts are prayers.
And we are always praying.
Our thoughts are prayers.
Take heed of what your saying.

Your thoughts determine how you feel. How you feel determines how you will act. Yet, most of us live at the mercy of our thoughts. Instead of walking the dog, the dog is walking us! On tonight’s show, we’ll have Meg Alexander who is practitioner of Belief Repatterning.

Belief Repatterning goes beyond affirmations and positive thinking to the beliefs at the core that can change how you are thinking.

This show is a must for people who are struggling to make positive life changes. 

Badge of Honor Syndrome

I don’t know when this happened, but I’ve noticed that people taking pride in not taking care of themselves. In their eyes, it’s a good thing to not get enough sleep. Gorging on fast food or grabbing lunch from a vending machine means that they are working hard. You hear these people bragging about not having time to work out. For them, not having a vacation or even several days off is a sign of success. Spending time with family often becomes a casualty in this particularly skewed world view.  A lack of self-care becomes a badge of honor that they wear with pride.

I get it. America is built on the Puritan work ethic. Work is often more than a source of income. It becomes a central part of our identity. Even if you are just working a 40 hour work week, we spend more of our waking hours at work than we do with family.

Yet, is it really worth it? I’ve seen people with Badge of Honor syndrome lose their marriages, strain the relationship with their kids and even have strokes and panic attacks at work. I even had one boss who bragged about working through her health crisis.

The manager who lost her marriage, lost her precious job six months later. The one who sacrificed time with her kids for this massive project she was working on, didn’t receive the accolades or the promotion she wanted. The boss with the health crisis was forced out of her job and continues to overwork herself at her new job.

All of these women get a lot of satisfaction from their work. While satisfaction of work is a priority, it shouldn’t be the only one. You should have a life outside of work and taking care of yourself makes your work life and the rest of your life run that much more smoothly.

A life well lived is the real Badge of Honor.

Tonight's Show: It's about the Money Honey!

The fourth Get It Together Girl! workbook, It's about the Money, Honey - Stretching Your Dollars Makes Sense will be released in the coming weeks. In preparation for that, tonight's show is all about money,making the most of it and keeping it from ruining your relationship.

Rob Drury with the Association of Christian Advisors will talk about everything from managing a household budget to saving for retirement and building up college funds. Next up Diane Tegarden, author of Budgeting on a Dime, will discuss how money can impact your relationship and how changing your money habits can improve your relationships!

Want to call in with questions, the live show airs tonight at 8:00 PM (Eastern). Call (917) 889-3205. You can always catch the recorded show in the archive. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/getittogethergirl

In Harmony

If you want it, you have to act on it. Actions are essential to making things happen; but so is thinking. If you want true success, you can’t have one without the other.

What you think about, you bring about. During an interview on my show, Kevin Darne, author of My Cat Won’t Bark: A Relationship Epiphany, and I discussed some of the mistakes people make in online dating. He said often people, instead of describing what they are looking for in a potential partner, list all of the qualities they don’t want. To potential dates this comes across as negative and sometimes bitter. Ironically, this focus on the undesirable increases the likelihood of pushing away the very people they’d be most interested in meeting.

The universe works in the same way. Emphasize the negative and you’ll repel the good. Your thoughts, feelings and actions should be congruent. In other words, your thoughts, feelings and actions should be in harmony with one another. If your actions are positive but your thoughts and feelings are negative (or even ambivalent), you will not attract the result you are looking for.

Case in point, you work hard, putting in the overtime and saving your money; but your thoughts focus on not having enough and you always talk about being broke. Your actions are taking you one step forward while your thoughts and feelings are taking you two steps back. No wonder you aren’t having the success you’d hoped for!

Tonight's Show: Get Your Body Back!

When diagnosed with Type II Diabetes at the age of 41, Dr. Tom Yarema didn’t just want to live with it, he wanted to change his diagnosis entirely. Now, he helps others fight and win against what he feels is American’s most despicable chronic disease: obesity.

He is the author of Eat, Taste, Heal and the nationwide telemedicine program, Get Your Body Back. As a guest on Get It Together Girl, he’ll talk about the power of food, and how we can get our bodies back and by extension, get our lives back.

Your Words Matter

The Good Book says life and death are in the power of the tongue – but how many of us really know what that means?

We say, “I’m broke.” “I hate my job.” “Men are crap” and then we are amazed when we don’t have any money, have a job we despise and have no relationship or (a bad one). It’s not just that we say the words; we compound the words by adding the feelings. We feel the lack, the frustration and the loneliness that intensifies the result we are getting.

So what should we do to change? We have to do more than change our words; we have to change the emotions we are feeling as well. A lot of people don’t believe in affirmations because it sounds as if we are lying to ourselves. After all, how can you claim abundance when you are looking at a negative balance in your checking account?

Affirm something you can believe to begin to turn the tides. Instead of broke, affirm “Money is coming my way.” While your mind might revolt against you saying that all men are wonderful, it would be open to something like “All men aren’t crap. There are some great men out there.” Say it and believe it. Get excited about it!

Change your words and change your focus. Focus on what is going right. Focus on what you have right now. Maybe you don’t have the financial abundance you want, but you have your health and you have a great family.

Things begin to change when you begin to change.

Tonight's Show: Boost Your Confidence, Change Your Life!

American women (and a significant number of women in Western society) have serious body image issues. This manifests in a variety of ways. We hear about anorexics and bulimics and women binge eat. We see the magazines and entertainment shows that ridicule women for being a size 6 and who extol the virtues of the practically impossible to achieve and maintain, Size Zero.

Yet the multitude of women who experience body image and acceptance issues suffer in silence. They refuse to see a doctor for fear of taking off their clothes. They fear complete sexual intimacy because of possible rejection. They dread shopping for clothes or trips to the beach. They fund the multi-billion dollar beauty industry! Their dissatisfaction shows up in a lack of confidence, unhappiness, depression, and relationship frustrations.

Our two guests confront these issues head on and help women learn to love themselves, gain confidence and embrace life on their terms. Keri Kight is the author of You’re Gorgeous: How to Love Your Body in a Perfection Obsessed Society. No matter where you are when you stand on the scale, she is dedicated to helping women (and men) can create the lives of their dreams, and it all starts with building their confidence.

Nicole LaBonde wears a lot of hats: fitness instructor, entrepreneur and public speaking coach; but regardless of the hat she is wearing, her mission is the same – to help women build their confidence. She is dedicated to helping women take back their power through their bodies, voices and mindset.

This is going to be a powerful hour and one the women – and girls – in your life should hear. 

Lessons Well Learned

Failure is necessary. We learn more form mistakes, missteps and setbacks than we learn from our successes. Failure is never pretty or planned, but when failure happens, it is what happens next that makes the difference between ultimate success or permanent defeat. Here are a few things to keep in mind.

Failure Happens. This isn't a pessimistic or negative statement. It's a reality. The road to success is never a straight and smooth ride. There are curves, uphill and downhill passages, detours and roadblocks. When you start on your journey to success, expect these things and don't be surprised by them. In fact, you should have some plans in place to handle the most likely setbacks to occur.

Naysayers Take Notice: When you experience a setback, there will be people there to tell you that they told you so or that they knew it was going to happen. They wanted to see you go down and once you fall down, there goal is to keep you there. Always have a few people around you that will help you back up with encouragement and support.

Learn the Lesson: Why did things not go as planned? What can you do differently? Were there signs and signals along the way that you ignored? Within each failure is at least one lesson you can learn to make things better the next time around. Learn those lessons and you are setting yourself up for success

Setbacks are Temporary: True failures are permanent. To truly fail, you have to give up and stop trying. If you fall down and get back up and persevere you will eventually succeed. But that success will never happen is you give up.

Tonight's Show: What Men Do Well and Why Cats Don't Bark

Get It Together Girl is all about helping women 'get it together'. And men, are a big thing that a lot of us need to work on. This show is dedicated to what men do well and some of the major relationship differences between the sexes.

Nick Theophilou is the author of the eBook 10 Things that Men Do Well. After hearing years of male-bashing, Theophilou sought to bring some balance to the male image by finding and focusing on some things that  men are getting right. Join us as we discuss men being better mates, bromances and fatherhood!

Kevin Darne is the author of My Cat Won't Bark (A Relationship Epiphany). In his book, he advocates entering a relationship with complete awareness, realistic expectations and self-empowerment. We're going to focus on his tips for online dating, the different types of cheaters and his Recipe for Relationship Happiness!

This will be a provocative and proactive hour. You won't want to miss it!

How to Manage Your Time Better (in less than 5 minutes)

Tonight's Show: Stunned by Grief

If you have ever lost a loved one, you know how painful grief can be. If you haven’t experienced loss yet, at some point you will. Loss is a part of life and a part of love. Getting through it is difficult but necessary. Some people get stuck in a state of grief – consumed by anger or drowning in depression. Yet, even those that successfully navigate grief, experience those emotions.

On tonight’s show, we’ll have two authors discussing grief, Judy Brizendine is the author of Stunned by Grief and Mardria Williams is the author of When Sorrow Comes My Way, I Look Up and Forge Forward.

On the second half of the show, Kartika Anderson will discuss how art helped heal her from a life-long struggle with depression. Her book is Turning Blue to Blue: How God Used Art to Lift my Depression.
Although grief and depression sound like depressing topics, tune in to find how these negative occurrences can have a positive outcome. Expect an uplifting hour!

Why Wait?

If you are waiting for the perfect time, here’s a newsflash: there is no perfect time. There is no perfect time to move, to have a child, to get married. Now, before you go off and move to another city, have a baby and get married to someone you barely know, let me tell you the difference between a good time and a perfect time.

Just because you don’t write a list down and check off every item, doesn’t mean you don’t have a list. You know what you are looking for in a partner. You know what you need to consider a major move or career change or to go back to school. You have at least a mental list if not a written list.

So when faced with a major decision, are the big items on your list checked off? A good friend wanted to move to another city, but she was her mom’s main caregiver. There was no way she was moving until she knew that her mom was going to be okay and well taken care of. She was also a home owner, in a slow real estate market. Of course, her job was an issue too.

Once she had gotten her mom settled, she still had to contend with the home and job issues. She had it on the market for several months with no luck. She looked into having a management company rent it out. Even after they took their fee, there was enough left to completely pay her mortgage and give her a little bit as well.
Finally, since she worked from home most of the time, she spoke to her boss about her desire to relocate, and the boss approved.

At this point, all of the major items on her checklist were checked off. Was everything perfect of course not. She had a few friends and family members that weren’t going to be happy with her decision. The move was also going to cost a little more than she expected. Yet, these were smaller things. It wasn’t up to her to make her friends happy and she could get by with the increased costs.

So she moved. She’s been in her new city four years now and loves it.

My point is that everything on your list might not be checked off. And if you need to have everything just so then consider the fact that you might have a case of procrastination masquerading as perfectionism. If a guy treats you well, has a good job, a great sense of humor and is reliable but you hate his cologne, should that be the reason why you don’t get together?

A perfect time to act is always going to be perfect. However, if perfect never comes, a good time to act is often better than not acting at all.

Tonight's Show: Goals Update and Fighting Fear

We’re halfway through March, two and a half months into 2014 (the year isn’t exactly ‘New’ anymore!). So how are you doing on those goals you set.  Elana Anthony will join me as we talk about your progress and what you need to do to have a goal-setting reboot!

Over 1.5 new cases of cancer will be diagnosed this year. This insidious diseases touches almost everyone in some shape or form.  We don’t have to be diagnosed to have seen a family member or friend suffer though their own illness. Jana Flaig is a cancer survivor – surviving Stage 3 ovarian cancer. Her new book Fight Fear and Foster Faith details how conquering fear played an integral role in overcoming a devastating diagnosis.

Goals Take Time ... Baby Steps Beat NO Steps At All

Tonight's Show: Meditation Made Easy

In today's fast-paced, multi-tasking world, who has time to meditate? In fact, who has time to even be still??? Well, you should. Tonight's guest, Shawngela Pierce of Seek Within You, is a meditation teacher and she'll be sharing the benefits and basics of meditation.

Still skeptical. The picture on the right was taken when Shawngela was 38 years old. She's 40 now and still looks the same. Forget the Oil of Olay and Botox, she credits meditation as one of the main reasons she looks so youthful.

The Person the People Pleaser Needs to Please

I am a people pleaser. Over the years, I have gotten better but I still put the needs of others first most of the time. My epiphany came years ago when I was burning the midnight oil on a project a client wanted too soon and that I had charged next to nothing to do. I realized that the client was fast asleep as was my boss and co-workers at my day job. The only one up and working was me.

I could have said "For what you want, I need at least another week" or I could have said, "I can do that but I will have to charge you XX more for meeting that aggressive deadline." What is the worst that could have happened? They would have said no. It probably wouldn't have ruined our professional relationship and if it did, was that really a bad thing?

After that night, I started trying to please myself at least some of the time. Saying no got easier. When I didn't say no outright, I said that I couldn't do what was being asked and I suggested what I could do instead. No was never a relationship-ender. In fact, when people asked for a favor they usually knew that no was a possibility.

Yet, I find myself doing too much too much of the time. Lucky for me, I have good friends. They know my problem and set off the alarm when I start to put people first at a detriment to me. It happened recently with a health issue, my health issue. I wanted to make sure that everyone else was taken care of before I attended to my health. My friends stopped me in my tracks and I appreciate them for it.

I put myself first and as soon as I did, I felt as if a weight had been lifted. I knew I had done the right thing. I thank God for being able to recognize a major flaw in my character and for having good people around me from letting it get the best of me.

Tonight's Show: The Sexy Show

Yes, ladies, it's time for the sexy show. It's all about men and the virtues of sex. Elliott R Katz, author of Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants, drops by to answer all of the questions you wanted to know about men. How they think and why they do some of the things that they do and when and how they can man up!

Then, want to improve your health, look younger, reduce stress and improve your relationship? Have more sex! Relationship coach Elizabeth Manuel says that an active and healthy sex life can improve your outlook and your life ... outside of the bedroom!

There's an App for That!

Get It Together Girl has an app! If you want to hear the show but you don't always want to listen from your computer, Get It Together Girl radio is available for your smart phone. Check your app store (Google, Apple, ...) and search for Get It Together Girl Radio. Be sure to use the Radio or you'll get a lot of 'sexy' apps ... but you won't see mine!

Here is the moral of this story. I heard that several BlogTalkRadio shows had apps. I assumed it probably cost more money than I could afford and I didn't even inquire about it. A few months later, when I came across a forum post from a guy who did apps, I decided to shoot him a quick email.

I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to get an app AND how affordable it was. It was something I could do without breaking the bank. I had made an assumption about the difficulty and the cost and I was wrong.

What did asking the questions cost me? It wasn't about what I thought. It was about getting the actual information from the person who knew the answers. If it was a difficult or costly process, I could have just said "Thanks but no thanks." But it wasn't and now, I have an app!

Tonight's Show: Get It Together Girls!

Get It Together Girl is devoted to helping people make major life changes by taking small daily changes. This comes through in my workbooks, my speaking and, of course, my radio show. Tonight's show feature two women who have done just that.

Ann Marie Bryant went from sitting on a $1 sofa and collecting welfare benefits to getting two Masters degrees and publishing several books. She is going to share how she made those dramatic changes. Elana Anthony is a working mother with six kids from adult to Pre-K. She juggles a lot of balls and manages to keep them all in the air, while also making positive changes to her health and fitness.

If you have big dreams and a full plate, this show is for you!

When No Doesn't Mean No

When it comes to pursuing your dreams, no doesn't mean no. Ask any salesperson or nightclub romeo and they will tell you that no is part of the process. When someone declines their offer, what do they do? They move on to the next one.

No means no to that particular person at that particular time. It does not mean that everyone will say no. I'm a big American Idol fan (and it is great this year with Harry Connick Jr.). When contestants are eliminated, they are tearful and rightfully so because American Idol is a huge opportunity. However, a no from the judges or even from America for those who make it that far isn't necessarily the end of the story.

Clay Aiken came in second place and has had a much bigger career than the winner, Ruben Studdard. Jennifer Hudson made it to seventh place and then went on to win an Oscar, not to mention she's seen everywhere as the face of Weight Watchers. Chris Daughtry made it to fifth place but has had a substantial career with his own band, Daughtry, with several number one albums.

A no can take the wind out of you for a minute, but it gives you time to regroup and try again. No is temporary, it isn't final until you say it is.

Tonight's Show: Publish and Promote

Everyone has a story to tell and many people harbor the dream of writing their story and publishing their own book. As a self-published author, I am here to tell you that it is possible to make this dream come true. Branch Isole is the author of over 20 books, including Pathways to Publishing. He stops by to share the obstacles, steps and ultimately success you can have publishing your own story.

Now, whether you want to promote your book, land a new job or just improve your professional relationships, networking is essential ... and it goes a lot deeper than just handing out a stack of business cards. Founder of the Women's Entrepreneurial Network, Svietlana Lavrentidi, shares some types for networking success and building lasting personal relationships!

How to Handle Emotional Vampires

Marie Dubuque is a former guest and the star of Manners by Marie on YouTube. More than just manners, she specializes in handling unpleasant or awkward situations. In this episode, she shows you how to handle people who demand your sympathy and attention ... all of the time!

Tonight's Show: From Statistic to Success

Tieshena Davis beat the odds. Not only did she overcome childhood tragedy to become a successful speaker, author and entrepreneur. Her best-selling book, Surviving Shocking Situations: Finding Courage To Succeed In Spite of Life’s Painful Moments.

And introducing ... Blasian Quinta of YouTube's SIN TV (Smart. Intelligent. News). She'll be dropping by every third Monday to talk about what's trending in the world of entertainment!

Self-Love – And No, Not That Kind of Self-Love

If you are single, celebrate! Don’t celebrate being better off single because all men (or women) are evil. Don’t celebrate to keep from crying. Celebrate because you are you and you are fabulous and amazing. You know they always say if you don’t love yourself, who else will?

What you need is a little therapy. And since this V-Day falls on a Friday, you don't have to worry about getting up early the next morning.

1. Retail Therapy: Go out and buy something nice for yourself
2. Spa Therapy: Get a mani/pedi or a massage or both!
3. Cinematic Therapy: Go see or rent a movie (but probably not The Notebook)
4. Choco Therapy: Indulge in a good gooey, decadent dessert!
5. Hydro Therapy: Sink into a delicious bubble bath and then slather yourself with your favorite lotion or body cream.
6. Floral Therapy: Buy yourself flowers, you deserve it!
7. Gastro Therapy: Go out to a nice restaurant with a friend. You don't need to be coupled up to enjoy a good meal.
8. Dance Therapy: Go to a club and get your groove on!
9. Song Therapy: Go to a karaoke bar and sing your heart out (or stay at home with your favorite playlist)
10. Girl Power Therapy: Get a group of the girls together and indulge in any of the above (of course, the hydro therapy could be awkward...)

Tonight's Show: Valentine's Day for the Single Girl

As a single girl, I know that we receive very little love on Valentine's Day. What's a girl to do??? Well, I say, celebrate your singleness. Go out to dinner with some other single ladies and have a great time! Indulge in an evening of pampering. Get yourself a mani/pedi or a massage. Take a soothing bubble bath! And then, listen to my show so that, if you are interested, you won't just be coupled up by this time next year, but you'll be coupled up with the right person.
In the first half of the show, we get some advice from the ladies. Georgia Woodbine is the author of How to Attract the Right Man into Your Life: No More Settling. Dr. Wendy Lyon co-wrote The Road to Success with Deepak Chopra. She is a psychologist who specializes on helping single ladies create great relationships.
In the second half of the show, we talk to businessman and author of Women Dress Like Sex, Men Dress Like Money: Everything You Need to Know about Marketing, You Learned in Dating. He's going to give us the guy's perspective and he's going to show us how to use proven marketing techniques to improve your love life.

Slow But Steady Wins the Race

Small steps add up. Not only do they add up but they do so with a surprising quickness. The trick is, you have to take the small steps and do so consistently.

Last year, I started a weight loss plan. I was on pace to lose a pound a week. It didn't seem like much and soon, disappointed with the pace, I was back to my old habits. It was mid-June before a realized that if I had stuck to it, I'd be down 25 pounds! Small and slow can add up to big and lasting.

It isn't just true in weight loss. It is true in business and in your relationships as well. Small changes made consistently can make a huge different. A few extra calls a day can result in a few more sales each week. More sales each week can lead to bigger commissions each month. Making room for a weekly date night can improve your relationship quickly.

Slow progress is real progress. When you make changes slowly, they are more likely to be sustained. You can make massive changes and get fast results but will those results be sustained over the long haul?

Be patient with yourself as you move towards your goal. Celebrate the small successes and before long, you'll be celebrating a big success

Tonight's Show: Get Organized, Get Happy

Just about everyone can use a little more organization and a little more happiness (okay, a lot more happiness!). Tonight's show will get you more of both.
Marla Regan is a professional organizer and organization is a real passion of mine. In fact, my first Get It Together Girl! book is about getting organized and removing clutter in just 15 minutes a day. We will have a great time trading tips and advice on getting and staying organized. Believe me, it doesn't have to be time-consuming or expensive!
In fact, Marla is giving away a 15 minute time management consultation. You will be surprised at how much you can get done in a quarter of an hour.
Okay, most people want to be more organized, but even if that isn't your goal, you have got to want a little more happiness or just to feel good more often! Author of The Feel Good Factor in 30 Days, Andrea Morrison, drops by to talk about how she went from high-flying attorney (they call them barristers in Great Britain where Andrea is from) to complete burn-out and back to happy. Her book gives you a 30 day process but she also offers some great advice for getting happy right now!

20 Tips for a Positive New Year

1. Stay positive. You can listen to the cynics and doubters and believe that success is impossible, or you can trust that with faith and an optimistic attitude all things are possible.
2. Take a morning walk of gratitude. I call it a “Thank You Walk.” It will create a fertile mind ready for success.
3. Make your first meal the biggest and your last meal the smallest. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed-out charge card.
4. Zoom Focus. Each day when you wake up in the morning, ask: “What are the three most important things I need to do today to help me create the success I desire?” Then tune out all the distractions and focus on these actions.
5. Talk to yourself instead of listening to yourself. Instead of listening to your complaints, fears and doubts, talk to yourself and feed your mind with the words and encouragement you need to keep moving forward.
6. Remember that adversity is not a dead end but a detour to a better outcome.
7. Don’t chase dollars or success. Decide to make a difference and build meaningful relationships, and success will find you.
8. Get more sleep. You can’t replace sleep with a double latte.
9. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in your purpose, people and the positive present moment.
10. Mentor someone, and be mentored by someone.
11. Live with the three Es: energy, enthusiasm, empathy.
12. Remember there’s no such thing as an overnight success. There’s no substitute for hard work.
13. Believe that everything happens for a reason, and expect good things to come from challenging experiences.
14. Implement the No Complaining Rule. Remember that if you are complaining, you’re not leading.
15. Read more books than you did in 2013.
16. Don’t seek happiness. Instead, decide to live with passion and purpose, and happiness will find you.
17. Focus on “Get to” versus “Have to.” Each day focus on what you get to do, not what you have to do. Life is a gift, not an obligation.
18. Each night before you go to bed, complete the following statements:  I am thankful for __________. Today, I accomplished ____________.
19. Smile and laugh more. They are natural antidepressants.
20. Enjoy the ride. You only have one ride through life, so make the most of it and enjoy it. 

Tonight's Show: From Money Madness to Money Management

Money is both a tangible and emotional issue. On tonight's show, we address both sides of the financial coin.
Harris Glasser has a lifetime of experience starting successful businesses and helping others, personally and professionally manage their money. He distilled his financial advice and wrote the book, It's My Money & I Want It! In the book, he advises readers on how to keep more of their money, boost their saving, pay off debt and handle creditors. Wherever you are in your financial journey Harris Glasser can help!
If you are familiar with The Secret, then you are familiar with James Goi Jr.'s approach to attracting more money into your life. Your thoughts and emotions play a clear role in attracting more money into your wallet and your bank account. Specifically, we'll talk about maintaining an abundant and prosperous mindset, when your reality is anything but!

Your Success

There are two things you should know about your success.

1. You've had success before.
2. You'll have success again.

We tend to downplay what has gone right in our lives while we focus in excruciating detail over what has gone wrong, what hasn't happened or what we could have done differently. The fact remains that we have done some things right and those things should be acknowledge. You graduated from high school, some cities have a 50% drop-out rate, so that is an accomplishment. If you graduated from college, that is another accomplishment. You've gotten and kept a job. You've married. You've raised great kids.

You might have won trophies or prizes. Maybe you have a reputation for being the best at something. There are things you do well and that you take pride in. These are successes. The key is not just to acknowledge them but investigate them in detail to discover how you made those successes happen. What did you do, think or say that made them possible.

How did you motivate yourself to study? What are you thinking when you get ready for work, or when you are at work handling a crisis? Looking back over your successes what characteristics and behaviors did you exhibit? Were you more focused or disciplined? Did you delay gratification? What sacrifices did you make?

Since you have ad success before, there is every possibility that you will have it again. If you want success in a specific area: weight loss, financial management, smoking cessation, etc., then look at what you did to achieve your past successes and apply those same characteristics.

You can be successful in your way on your terms. Use what you have at your disposal and you will get what you want.

Tonight's Show: Career Goals and MLK Day

Giving You More in the 1-4 continues with life coach and business woman JJ DiGeronimo and a focus on career goals. Maybe you are looking for a job. It could be that you have a job and want a promotion. It's entirely possible that you just want to be more effective in your current job. JJ will discuss all of those things as well as making networking really work ... it's more than just handing out business cards!

Merisa Davis, author of Bill Cosby is Right is the guest for the second half hour. Over the past few years, Cosby has taken some hits from those in the African-American community for some comments he directed towards the black community. Many did not appreciate his 'tough love'. So on MLK Jr. Day, Merisa and I will discuss ho Cosby's comments and the negative reaction. I'll also be asking if Dr. King's dream is in danger of becoming a nightmare.

You can use this link to listen live and join in the conversation, tonight, Monday, January 20 or you can use it to listen to the recorded show.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/getittogethergirl/2014/01/21/career-goals-and-living-the-dream

The Simplest Solution

The other day, I came into work early and went to print something from the printer. I got an error message. Immediately I flew into action. I checked the properties. I made sure I was selecting the right printer. I uninstalled and reinstalled. I went over to the printer several times and no papers had printed out. What the heck was the problem?

Well, after about 20 minutes, I walked over to the printer and actually looked at it (instead of just walking past it). Someone had turned it off. All I had to do was flip the power switch. There was no glitch computer problem. The IT department hadn’t disabled my ability to print. Someone had simply turned off the printer.

Sometimes the most obvious answer is the most obvious answer, the one that is staring us in the face. I remember talking to a woman about my weight loss efforts. I had tried Weight Watchers and it had worked, but, ever the yo-yo I had gained the weight back. Since then I had tried Atkins, South Beach and several other diets to no avail. Then this woman, a stranger whom I had struck up a conversation with on a walking trail said, “Well, if Weight Watchers worked for you before why not just go back to Weight Watchers?” Ding! Ding! Ding! I didn’t need a pill or a new diet plan, I needed to go back to what worked.

What’s my point? It’s simple, when faced with a problem, don’t overlook the simplistic answer because it’s too simplistic. It might be exactly what you need.

Tonight's Show: Get Hooked Up, Get Fit

Last week, I launched January's Giving You More in 1-4 series. We talked about setting achievable goals and we did a great session with John Satin and Chris Pattay on Relationship Resolutions for couples. Now, you couldn't think that I'd leave the singles out, especially considering that I'm one of them!

Bruce Starr, the LUV Coach will kick off the show with Relationship Resolutions for those of us single and ready to mingle! He's going to help us break some old habits and replace them with new dating habits. We'll talk about Internet dating, face-to-face dating, first date etiquette and just generally have some fun.

Personal Trainer John Henry Creel will be the focus of the second half hour. He's kicking off his Fight Fat Challenge and he'll have the details about that. Whether your health and wellness goals involve improving your fitness, making healthier choices or losing weight, John is the guy for you!

It's all happening live Monday, January 6 at 8:00 p.m. (EST). Of course, you can always listen to the recorded show afterwards.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/getittogethergirl/2014/01/07/giving-you-more-in-2014--resolutions-that-work

New Year. New Me. It Ain't Easy!

When the going gets tough, what exactly do the tough do? As a compulsive spender, the normal answer, shopping doesn’t work. As a person who’s trying to lose weight, neither does eating. Lashing out doesn’t work, crying might feel good for a minute but then what?

I have a very nasty habit of speaking negativity over my life. Could all of my “I’ll never have a man!” and “No one will ever marry me!” rants have something to do with my still being single? (If you ask my Dad the answer is yes!) Could it be that my thoughts of lack, brokeness and the focus on what I don’t have could be keeping me dangling in financial limbo?

I thought about that as we came into the New Year and I was determined to be more positive. Then, several days into the New Year, it happened. And it all started with an email from Paypal saying that they had charged me for something I wasn’t expecting. That one charge was about to wreak havoc in my struggling checkbook!

I was frustrated. I was truly trying to do better, yet something always came up.  “Why? Why? Why!!!”

But wait a minute; this is supposed to be a new me for the New Year.

I called the bank and told them to set it up so they did not pay anything I couldn’t cover. When I got to work, I canceled the Paypal service. These actions didn’t improve my finances but they did make me feel better. I was being proactive and taking charge. It felt good.

It felt so good that I decided that next I needed to be grateful. I had the gas I needed to get to my job. I was unemployed for nine months before I started, so a job was something to be grateful for. I had food in my house and my bills were paid - another thing to be grateful for.

In fact, when I got home, I numbered down a full page (28 lines) in my journal and came up with 28 things to be grateful for that very day. I felt really good by the time I fell asleep.

It’s not even a daily battle for me to stay positive. I literally have to take it minute-by-minute. Yet, if I ended up feeling like a felt at the end of a long bad day then it is worth it.

Tonight's Show: Giving You More in 2014

You know I'm excited!

1. This is my first show of the year
2. I'm going from a one guest to two guest format starting tonight
3. I love New Years and this is my first show in my January Goals/Resolutions series

I'm going to start by discussing productive goal setting with Yay Me University founder and author Tiphanie VanDerLugt! We're going to talk about goal-setting methods that work. If you've wanted to know why you haven't reached your goals or why you have the same goals year after year after year, be sure to listen. Also, if you want to know how to develop a complete and holistic plan for achieving your goals, you'd better listen. I'll also be revealing all five steps of y Golden Goals Method. You won't want to miss it.

In the second half hour, I'll be talking to Jon Satin and Chris Pattay, the Possibility Coaches and founders of The Relationship Reboot Workshop. If you are married or in a relationship and have a relationship goal for the two of you, then Jon and Chris can help. Listen for advice on how to improve your communication, your level of intimacy or just make your relationship better overall.

This is going to be an exciting month for Get It Together Girl Radio. We'll also be addressing your fitness goals, your financial goals and your career goals. Also, I haven't forgotten about relationship goals for the singles ... but that's next week!

It's a New Year Woo-Hoo!

Of the holidays that collectively make up The Holidays, the one I like the most is New Years. I know that is strange; but it isn't Thanksgiving or Christmas (or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa). I love the idea of a new year. It's a new start and a new beginning.

Although, with every year, the number of people who make resolutions decreases, I like the idea - except I don't call them resolutions I call them goals. Resolutions, to me, are wishful thinking - and it is no wonder that most people don't achieve them. For me, a goal comes with a plan. A goal implies work and that is exactly what it will take to achieve it.

My five-step process is called, the Golden Goals Method.

1. Mine the Past - Look at your recent past (good and bad) for the lessons it has to teach you.
2. Flash to the Future - What would your life look like a year ago if everything went according to plan.
3. Stop Shoulding! - Get rid of any goals you have because someone else things you should have them.
4. Plan to Succeed - For each goal, have a team to help you and a Plan B to get you back on track.
5. Get Real - Recognize that success takes time and it takes work. If it were easy and could be done overnight you would have done it by now!

The Golden Goals Method is available as a downloadable program for just $25. It takes less than an hour to create three goals and the plans you need to achieve them. It's fun, it's got great music and you will have goals you actually want to work to achieve.

http://www.shop.getittogethergirlmedia.com 

Happy New Year!