The Person the People Pleaser Needs to Please

I am a people pleaser. Over the years, I have gotten better but I still put the needs of others first most of the time. My epiphany came years ago when I was burning the midnight oil on a project a client wanted too soon and that I had charged next to nothing to do. I realized that the client was fast asleep as was my boss and co-workers at my day job. The only one up and working was me.

I could have said "For what you want, I need at least another week" or I could have said, "I can do that but I will have to charge you XX more for meeting that aggressive deadline." What is the worst that could have happened? They would have said no. It probably wouldn't have ruined our professional relationship and if it did, was that really a bad thing?

After that night, I started trying to please myself at least some of the time. Saying no got easier. When I didn't say no outright, I said that I couldn't do what was being asked and I suggested what I could do instead. No was never a relationship-ender. In fact, when people asked for a favor they usually knew that no was a possibility.

Yet, I find myself doing too much too much of the time. Lucky for me, I have good friends. They know my problem and set off the alarm when I start to put people first at a detriment to me. It happened recently with a health issue, my health issue. I wanted to make sure that everyone else was taken care of before I attended to my health. My friends stopped me in my tracks and I appreciate them for it.

I put myself first and as soon as I did, I felt as if a weight had been lifted. I knew I had done the right thing. I thank God for being able to recognize a major flaw in my character and for having good people around me from letting it get the best of me.