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Monday, December 30, 2013

Kara Hawkins - A Got It Together Girl!

The Get It Together Girl philosophy is simple: Start where you are and use what you’ve got to get what you want. It takes into account that most of us have neither an abundance of time or money. So I advocate making small changes that can yield a big payoff. Tonight’s guest, Kara Hawkins, has lived this philosophy.

Her wake-up call occurred suddenly after being hospitalized by a mysterious illness. She looked around and saw her health in decline, her relationship in jeopardy and her kids out of control. Kara knew that she needed to do something about it. She got clear on what mattered most and took inventory of her resources, talents and gifts … then she stopped being busy and got down to business and changed her life.

She comes to Get It Together Girl Radio healthy with strong relationships. She shares her story as well as tips on how you can make similar changes in your life … starting today!

Monday, December 23, 2013

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work!

I launched Get It Together Girl Radio in September. I absolutely love doing the show and am looking forward to next year. I am going from a single guest an hour to a two guest an hour format. I’m also implementing a weekly Facebook Fan of the Week contest complete with a Get It Together Girl T-Shirt for the winner.

It is a lot of work, really a second job. As much as I love doing what I do, I also realize that I cannot do it alone. No one can. Success is never a solo project. I’ve reached out to one friend who has designed a logo for me and helps me with graphics. A coworker has introduced me to a woman who is helping me with marketing. Now, I have a woman who is going to be my entertainment commentator on the show. Truth be told, I could really use an intern!

While it is sometimes easier to just do it all yourself, at some point you have to let others in. Women who try to do too much eventually run into the realization that they can’t do it all. Unfortunately, it often comes after the crisis has occurred.

We must realize when we need help and then take the step to ask for it. When asking for help…

  • Know exactly what you need help with and are asking someone to do.
  • Do not wait until you are spent and emotional to ask. Leave emotion out of it.
  • Be generous with your support and with your gratitude, let people know that they are appreciated.

So in the meantime, I solider on, with my ragtag team. In 2014, I hope to be adding that intern to my crew!

Friday, December 20, 2013

On Tonight: Relationship Resolutions for Couples

John and Chris will be on tonight's show to discuss relationship resolutions for couples. 

We all want healthy relationships! So why don’t we have healthy relationships? To experience healthy relationships, it’s important to understand that the physical world we see is like a gigantic mirror. It always reflects back to us our dominant thoughts, beliefs, feelings and emotions. What we see is a result of what we project. Our world is the screen. On that screen is a movie. We each script it, produce it, direct it and even act in it.

If you are unhappy with ‘the plot’ and the cast of characters in your life, then perhaps it is time for a re-write of your script. The quickest, most efficient way to change the world you see is to begin to be more open, willing and vulnerable to healing your life through the relationships you may consider unhealthy or unstable.

Here are three key ways that the healing power of your relationships can assist you to create a new life for yourself.

Tip #1: Be open and willing to stop trying to ‘fix’ and ‘save’ other people. If you are in the habit of trying to fix and save people be open and willing to give this up now! Do not expect anyone else to change because you want them to. If you are carrying a ‘I’ll be happy and at peace when (s)he changes’ belief, you are going to wait a very long time…even a lifetime, for that to happen.

Tip #2: Get to know yourself now! If you truly desire more intimacy in your personal relationships begin by focusing on developing an intimate relationship with yourself. The truth is, if you are challenged being intimate with you, how can you expect to be intimate with someone else?

Get to know “you” by going on a date with yourself. Spend alone time. Journal your thoughts about what you love about you. Begin to enjoy your own company!

Tip #3: Begin to develop more self-confidence and healthier self-esteem. You achieve this by learning to let go of the past and cease worrying about the future. Be alive now. Accept that you are unique and one-of-a kind and so is everyone else. Experiencing healthy relationships is also about realizing that we are all interconnected to everyone and everything.

To experience this idea of uniqueness and interconnectedness simply requires a shift in how you look at things. Recall that your life and world is the movie you created. You can edit and re-write the storyline as you choose.

Click here to read this blog post in its entirety:

Monday, December 16, 2013

Dale Stanten: The Hooker's Daughter

When it comes to overcoming obstacles and rising above bad situations, author Dale Stanten knows what she is talking about. In 1950s Jewish Boston, Dale’s mother established a home-based business as a prostitute to remedy her husband’s inability to provide for his family. At age six, the author was answering the front door for johns. Neighbor children were forbidden to play with her and even the Girl Scouts asked her to leave. What a terrible irony, in a family with so many strange and twisted realities, her gay sister, “coming out” at age 16, was the only thing her parents focused on as contemptible.

The Hooker’s Daughter is a story of survival, driven by a strong will and an ability to extract positive qualities from a dysfunctional life, punctuated by immoral and illegal behaviors. The author was able to reconcile the reality of her environment with what she wished it to be. The resulting tenacity enabled Dale to cope with her terminally ill husband and widowhood at age 37. Her unconditional love for her mother challenges the reader to examine beyond that which is socially acceptable and identify that which is universal. 

I can't wait to talk to Dale about resilience, being ostracized within her community and how she managed to battle back and succeed. I also want to talk about being a caregiver and what a massive undertaking that role really is physically, mentally and emotionally.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Listen to Oprah ... Again

Okay, I was on a bit of an Oprah kick for a minute. However, I do believe the words we speak have power. In this segment, Oprah talks to Joel Osteen about the power of the words "I am". What you attach to I am, you bring into your life. So watch your words!

Monday, December 9, 2013

The Bully Pulpit

Tiffany Haisten is a mother, teacher, author and former victim of bullying. Using her experiences growing up as a redhead, she has written Red Is the Color of... to help victims of bullying see that there is beauty in differences.

She'll be on Get It Together Girl Radio to talk about bullying and what parents, teachers and even other kids can do to help.

Here's the trailer to her book.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Monday, December 2, 2013

Tonight's Guest: Angela Ray

Whether speaking to incoming college freshmen or breast cancer survivors, Angela Ray is truly a ray of hope. What I find so inspiring about Angela is that she has dedicated her career as well as her personal acts of kindness to giving back in whatever way she can.

Angela has a story of overcoming adversity and perseverance. I look forward to speaking with her about this on Get It Together Girl Radio. She often shares her story with high school and college students, letting them know that they too can rise above the challenges they are facing and experience success – however they define it.

In another example of giving back, after losing her only sister to breast cancer, last month, for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Angela made the Kindle version of her book, Rays of Motivation free for anyone who could use an inspirational boost. Angela said, ““I was holding my sister in my arms when she took her last breath, and I know how hard she fought against breast cancer. I don’t have a cure or millions of dollars for research, but this is my way to let survivors know that I care.”

Victory, hope and happiness will be the cornerstone of my conversation with Angela. I hope you’ll listen in.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Are You Really Getting Enough Sleep?

My guest on tonight's show is Patty Tucker. She's a sleep coach. While that might seem to be an unusual focus for coaching, it is definitely needed. One out of five Americans get less than six hours of sleep a night. And that doesn't include the number of people who are sleeping more than that but aren't sleeping well. I know because I've suffered from insomnia my entire adult life.

Here is a reprint from a blog on Patty's Sleep of Champions website on some surprising signs that you aren't getting a good night's sleep.

We all know how important it is to get enough sleep. Without it we yawn and drag through the day and maybe even need a long or involuntary nap to get through it. But you don’t have these obvious signs of sleep deprivation so you must be getting enough sleep, right? Maybe not. Check these 6 signs that you may not be getting all the sleep you need after all.

1. You use an alarm clock.
When we are free of sleep debt we will wake naturally at about the same time each day after our body has completed its restorative tasks. If you keep a regular schedule and avoid substances that alter the natural cycling of sleep and waking, you should not need to be yanked forcefully from your slumber in the morning. Waking to a jangling alarm clock is a nasty, stress inducing way to start the day. A natural, quiet and fresh awakening is a much more pleasant way to greet the new dawn.

2. You lose your keys.
Memory consolidation is thought to be one of the functions of REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. We generally get the bulk of our REM sleep in the last ½ of our sleep session. Therefore if our night is cut short we miss out mostly on REM sleep and may be more prone to memory glitches. Long term sleep problems have even been shown to have an association with Alzheimer’s Disease.

3. You yell at your kids.
Irritability, lack of tolerance and impulse control problems have all been linked to sleep deprivation. This is true for both kids and adults. It is important for everyone in the family to make a sleep a nightly priority. Then the kids will be more likely to behave and you will be less likely to fly off the handle if they don’t!

4. You would rather eat doughnuts than broccoli.
Sleep balances our appetite hormones. With enough sleep under our belt we will have fewer cravings for carbohydrates and the artificial energy found in sugary snacks. We can then make those healthy food choices more easily.

5. You can’t seem to lose weight.
Along the same lines as #4, sleep is also the time we are most efficient at producing human growth hormone and testosterone. Theses hormones help us achieve and maintain a strong, lean body. Without adequate sleep, all our good intentions, diet plans and workout routines will be far less effective than they would be if supported by just a bit more shut-eye.

6. You’ve had a fender bender.
Just a second of inattention is all it takes. A car travelling 37 miles per hour will cover 54 yard in 3 seconds. That’s more than ½ the length of a football field! If the car in front of you brakes suddenly or someone turns in front of you, your safety, maybe even your life, hangs on whether you can react fast enough to avoid impact. Studies have shown that both chronic and short term sleep deprivation leads to slower reactions times. One study at Stanford even proved that sleep deprived people performed more poorly on reaction time tests than did people who were legally drunk.

So don’t wait until you can’t get through the day without propping your eyelids open with toothpicks. Watch for the subtle signs you need more sleep and make it a point to adjust your schedule to get it. When you get the sleep you need you can live the life of your dreams!

Visit Patty at to learn more about sleep-related issues.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Tom Corley - Eliminate Poverty Emotions

Tom Corley, author of Rich Habits: The Daily Success Habits of Wealthy Individuals, will be the featured guest on tonight's Get It Together Girl Radio show. He'll talk about how we can change our financial condition by changing our thinking and engaging in some small but different behaviors on a regular basis.

The following is reposted from Tom's blog, Rich Habits.

Rich Habits Fact of the Day
There are 48 known human emotions.

Rich Habits Lesson of the Day
Poverty emotions hold you back in life financially. They are often related to certain limiting beliefs such as “I am not smart enough to be rich.” All Poverty Emotions are negative emotions. Emotions reside in the subconscious.

When combined with continuous thoughts or beliefs, emotions act like giant magnets attracting things into your life that are related to the emotions you continuously allow yourself to feel. Your subconscious does not know any better. It thinks the emotions are something you want to have. It’s job is to give you more of what it thinks you want. For example, if you feel grief, your subconscious will attract more things into your life which will make you grieve.

If you want to become wealthy in life you need to eliminate Poverty Emotions. What are they? Hate, Anger, Doubt, Sadness, Worry, Anxiety, Grief, Fear, Disgust, Stress, Envy, Suspicion, Panic, Disappointment, Greed, Guilt, Revenge, Shame, Embarrassment, Humiliation, Insecurity, Hesitancy, Rude, Obnoxious, Nervousness, Exasperation, Intimidation, Wary, Upset.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Relationship Rescue: Get Your Head Outta the Sand!

For the four Mondays in November, we’ll be attempting a relationship rescue. Even if you aren’t in a relationship, this can help you for the next time you are.

Like the ostrich, many times it is easier to bury our heads in the sand and not confront the sometimes ugly truth. It isn’t that we don’t see the signs that a relationship is in trouble. Most often, we choose a different interpretation.

Yet, on a certain level, a deeper level, we know that something is seriously wrong. Not only is it wrong, but it is probably also complicated, messy and unpleasant to deal with. So we ignore it or make excuses for it.
Of course, I’m talking about infidelity but I’m also talking about more than that. Cheating isn’t the only problem that relationships encounter. There are a myriad of things from abuse to addiction and even indifference or feelings of overwhelm to contend with.

Whatever the issue, ignoring it won’t make it better. You have to deal with it in all its ugly, complicated and messy glory. This requires both honesty and openness. You need to be honest about what you are feeling and what you are experiencing. However, you need to be open to the other person’s feelings and experiences. My Aunt Linda told me a long time ago not to ask a question if you weren’t ready for the answer … especially because it might not be the one you want.

Yet, you have to get down and dirty if you want to get to the bottom of things … and you have to get to the bottom before you can start your rise to the top again.

Relationships, be they romantic, professional or personal, go from bad to worse when issues are allowed to fester and worsen. An wound needs to be treated and bandaged so that it can heal. It won’t get better on it’s own. The antiseptic you use to clean the wound will hurt and the bandage to protect it might be uncomfortable but in the end, it is a pain and discomfort that is necessary to cleanse the wound and let the healing begin.Re

Marie Dubuque: Mind Your Manners!

Marie Dubuque with Manners By Marie wants everyone to know that manners and etiquette aren't old-fashioned or out-of-fashion. In fact, as long as people are interacting with one another, there will be a need for etiquette and just basic rules of behavior.

On tonight's Get It Together Girl Radio show, Marie stops by to talk about manners in fast-paced world. As society changes so do the basics of social behavior.

Here are a few excerpts from her Manners by Marie blog.

Can you be friends with a guy who has a girlfriend?
Yes, but only friends. If he flirts at all, even innocently, you need to change the subject, ignore him, whatever it takes to veer the conversation back to a "friends only" mode. It's easy to start flirting with someone, but look at it like this: If you were his girlfriend, how would you want him talking to other girls? You see what I mean? You know the difference between a conversation between friends, and a flirtation. So, don't do it!

If you feel an attraction towards him, wait until he and his girlfriend are completely broken up. Until then, keep the relationship on a platonic level.

How to handle a co-worker who is on her cell phone all day long?
First, I would talk to her. Explain in a calm manner that you are having trouble concentrating because you can hear all of her conversations. And that just might do the trick! Because the last thing she wants is someone who listens to everything she yaks about!

But if it doesn't work, and she continues to chat away all day long, I would talk to your boss. In fact, I bet you are not the only person who is complaining. After all, she can't be too productive if she is on her phone the whole day.

If the problem still persists, ask to move to another room, office, department...whatever it takes to be able to work in peace!

Should you leave a tip at a partial service restaurant?
You know those restaurants where you order at the counter, get your own drink, and then a server brings you your food? A lot of people don't really know what to do. You have a waiter, but that person doesn't really do much. Yet, they are really friendly when they bring you your meal! (At least in my experience.)

I would leave a dollar on the table...or two if they are really courteous and do something special for you, like grab a high chair, or bring you extra napkins.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Finish Strong

It's November and we're in the final stretch of 2013. However, the year ain't over yet. There is still time to finish strong. Those goals you set at the beginning of the year are still within your reach. Even if it's not possible to complete your goal in two months, you can at least get a good start and gain some momentum.
  • You might not be able to lose 50 pounds but you can lose 10.
  • You can start that workout routine.
  • You can begin putting a little money aside every paycheck.
  • You can order a few college catalogs.
  • You can try again to quit smoking or stop another bad habit.
It's not to late. You can still finish strong!

It's Not Too Late to Finish Strong!

It's November and we're in the final stretch of 2013. However, the year ain't over yet. There is still time to finish strong. Those goals you set at the beginning of the year are still within your reach. Even if it's not possible to complete your goal in two months, you can at least get a good start and gain some momentum.
  • You might not be able to lose 50 pounds but you can lose 10.
  • You can start that workout routine.
  • You can begin putting a little money aside every paycheck.
  • You can order a few college catalogs.
  • You can try again to quit smoking or stop another bad habit.
It's not to late. You can still finish strong!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Relationship Rescue: Speaking the Same Language

For the four Mondays in November, we’ll be attempting a relationship rescue. Even if you aren’t in a relationship, this can help you for the next time you are.

A relationship is always difficult. It will always be work … hopefully, mostly fun and rewarding work, but work just the same. When you think about it, it’s a miracle that two people ever come together. There are so many factors to consider: attraction, chemistry, values, location, baggage, issues, finding the person for you is hard!

But even when you have found that person, The One, the road isn’t always sunny and smooth. It’s possible, after everything, that you are The One aren’t even speaking the same language! In his best-selling book, The Five Love Languages, author Gary Chapman determines five ways people want to be loved. Of course, we give love the way we want to receive love. The problem occurs when the way we want to be loved isn’t the same way the person we love want to be loved.

For instance, for many people gifts and receiving things is a sign of love. This person will naturally give gifts. However, the spouse may not place a high value on gifts, what they want is time. So frustration ensues. The person who wants gifts gets time and the person who wants time gets a lot of stuff. See the problem?

Here are the Five Love Languages
  1. Words of Affirmation: This person wants to hear “I love you.” Thanking them for something they’ve done and telling them how you feel is what really matters.
  2. Receiving Gifts: Whether it’s wrapped in a box or given in a bouquet, this person wants to see and receiving the tokens of your affection.
  3. Acts of Service: This person wants their actions to speak for them. Cooking a meal for someone, taking the car for an oil change, these things are not just done out of necessity, they are done out of love.
  4. Physical Touch: This is more than just the sex act. A touch on the shoulder, cuddling on the couch, holding hands, these are the signs that show this person they are loved.
  5. Quality Time: This person doesn’t want things they want time spent together: on a drive, at the movies, over dinner, it’s the amount of time and quality of that time that matters.

Knowing your Love Language is only half the battle. You need to know your partner’s Love Language so that both of you can receive love in your own way.

Visit Chapman’s site at Click Discover Your Love Language across the time to find out what your Love Language is. (Mine is Acts of Service!)

Timogi Jackon - Empowering YOU

Guest Timogi conducts workshops across the country helping women move through healing to wholeness. She is an Empowerment Coach working with individuals and groups.  If you aren’t familiar with what an Empowerment Specialist does, read what Timogi has to say about it and listen to her positive and powerful interview tonight!
  • An Empowerment Specialist supports women in their efforts to achieve desired personal growth.
  • An Empowerment Specialist is actively listens and hears what you say as well as what you do not say.
  • An Empowerment Specialist is a professional confidant willing to acknowledge truth in your life with your greater good in mind encouraging you to strengthen and grow.
  • An Empowerment Specialist is an idea editor proofreading your thoughts and goals making them focused, tangible and organized.
  • An Empowerment Specialist is an interior decorator strategically placing your goals into a set of streamlined, specific, measurable actions.
  • An Empowerment Specialist encourages your self-discovery and your critical thinking allowing you to be the visionary and author of your growth and success.
Listen live at 8:00 p.m. tonight or anytime after that at

Thursday, October 31, 2013

At-Work Balance: Relationships Matter

As I mentioned last week, we spend more time at work than we do with our families. It stands to reason that, just like your family, there will be people that you like and 'just click' with and then there will be others you'd rather not see sitting across from you at the Thanksgiving table. Plus, there are a boatload of people in the middle that don't elicit strong reactions of any kind.

Your Work Bestie
You eat lunch together. You exchange emails all day. You hang out after work. They know your family. Most importantly, they know all of your business. This is your friend and if one of you left the job the friendship will continue. Yet, this relationship looks different to outsiders who might see that kind of closeness as unprofessional. If one of you gets promoted, people will be looking for favoritism.

While breaks and lunches are your time, in other areas and at other times (during meetings, training sessions) try to keep the camaraderie to a minimum. These are not the time to share inside jokes and tales of your weekend escapades. Keep those between the two of you and off of the clock.

Your Work Frenemy
This person rubs you the wrong way. You dread even passing them in the hall. Yet, there will be times when you have to work with them. Keep it professional and respectful. Don't complain about them to other co-workers (including your bestie). Watch your body language in this person's presence. Other people notice the frown, the sighs and the eye-rolling.

This is work, so let's keep it about the work. This one could be difficult though depending on why this person is a frenemy. If the person is a work-avoider and constantly pushes their work on you and others, make their role clear and get their buy-in in writing (email) so their responsibilities are clearly defined. If this person is condescending or a hot-head, do not back down. State your position but do it without getting emotional or frustrated (that is often the reaction that person is looking for)

The Middlers
These people are not the Bestie or the Frenemy and these are the majority of the people you deal with everyday. They watch your relationships with your Frenemy and Bestie. They are there for small talk and chit-chat. While they might not even be a blip on your radar, these are the people who determine what your work reputation is like. They take note of your frustration with your frenemy. They overhear the personal conversations between you and your bestie. They are a silent majority.

Be courteous and professional and focus on doing your work and doing it well. Don't give them any reason to question your work ethic, your integrity or your professionalism.

3 Tips for Self-Care

Monday, October 28, 2013

Peace through The Serenity Prayer

In the month of October, each Monday, I will be writing a post on gaining peace of mind.

A cornerstone of the 12 Step program, the Serenity Prayer is simple and straight-forward; but like a lot of things that are simple to understand, it is often very difficult to apply.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

You cannot change anything but yourself. You are not responsible for or capable of changing someone else’s thought, moods, behaviors, perceptions, desires, motivations, beliefs or ideas. Yet, think about how much time we waste and how much frustration we create because we cannot accept someone else as they are. They don’t do what they think they should do so it becomes a problem.  If someone is grumpy in the morning, why get upset at their surliness? Why waste time trying to get them to change, especially if you know they’ll come around in about an hour and after they’ve had their coffee.

Most things about yourself you can change, but some things need to be accepted. You won’t be getting taller. You can’t change your race or ethnicity. You cannot change the family you were born into or the circumstances you grew up in. In fact, you can’t change the events of the past. It’s done. You can change how you perceive those events but that would take …

The courage to change the things I can

Yet, there are things you can change. Those begin with things within your control, things within yourself. You don’t have to do what you’ve always done. You can do something different. However, something different could very well mean something that opens you up to criticism or failure and that takes courage. Something different might mean stepping outside of your comfort zone and feeling awkward or making mistakes. This takes a significant level of personal bravery.

You cannot change others but you can speak up for yourself and you can offer solutions to situations that are within your control. However, your suggestions and your outspokenness might be met with hostility or even ridicule. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t say anything. It does mean that you’ll have to summon the courage to do so.

The wisdom to know the difference

This is the hard part. This is the part that makes something simple in explanation, difficult in practice. What is within your control to change and what isn’t? When do you need to accept or let go and when do you need to be brave and show the determination necessary to change?

I think some of this comes with age. Because we’ve grown in different areas and in different ways, I have lost some friendships over the years. When I was younger, I tried in vain to hold on to those friendships, eventually, I had to let them go.

A lot of this wisdom comes from being open to learning from your mistakes and the events in your life. I don’t believe that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger or wiser or better than you were before. For some, what doesn’t kill you just doesn’t kill you. However, for someone who is willing to learn and grow from there experiences, struggle can bring those qualities of strength, wisdom and betterment.

Cyber Stalking: More than Words on a Computer Screen

The guest on tonight's show is Ed Opperman, president of Opperman Investigations. He developed the Email Revealer software that traces email addresses back to the sender, even if they are trying to remain anonymous. We'll talk about cheating in the new millennium and cyber stalking and other forms of online harassment.

Here is a reposted blog post written by Ed on Cyber-Stalking:

Cyber stalking is a problem that has continued to grow over recent years. While this problem is often very serious in nature, there are ways to prevent it from going too far. Any type of stalking can lead to violence if the appropriate action is not taken in a timely manner. Internet stalking is no exception in this department. Although this type of harassment might not seem like anything more than words on a computer screen, you might be surprised at the amount of information that a person can obtain access to just by having your name or email address. If you are receiving any kind of unwanted and unwelcome communication, it should be reported immediately. This is the very first step in preventing the problem from escalating out of control. 

The second step in getting the issue of cyber stalking under control is to turn to someone who is experienced enough in situations such as these to know what to do to find out who and where these stalkers are. One type of popular internet investigation that can help a great deal is a reverse email trace. This type of trace is used to gather information needed to take further action against cyber stalkers, should the need arise. 

The information that is most useful in this process includes such details as the name, address and phone number of the person that is thought to be guilty of cyber stalking. Other vital details that may also be discovered through a reverse email trace include where the person works, what websites they visit, internet service provider and browser type and even the operating system that is being used by the computer in question. All of this information can be obtained by providing investigators with the email address in which the communication originated from. 

There are some people that become so scared when they begin receiving stalking emails in their inbox that they have no clue of which way to turn, but it is extremely important to do something before the situation gets completely out of control. The best way to handle cyber stalking cases is to turn to an investigator that is experienced in performing reverse email traces. This will ensure that the problem is handled in the most professional manner possible, and in the least amount of time. 

Thursday, October 24, 2013

At-Work Balance

We hear a lot about work-life balance. However, there is another form of balance that is just as important though hardly ever mentioned. I call it At Work Balance.

There are 168 hours in a week. If we only get six hours of sleep a night, we lose 42 hours. We spend about 50 hours at work (time spent at work plus time commuting to and from work and time preparing for work). And that’s not factoring in any overtime!

We spend more time working than we spend with our families. So how we conduct that time is critical.
Until androids take over the world, humans are the ones that go to work and humans are not machines (a fact often lost on those in management). Humans are social animals. We interact with coworkers, clients, vendors and customers. We make small talk. We will react positively and negatively to the personalities of others. 

At-Work Balance seeks to navigate that minefield by setting some parameters for work behavior and, more importantly, work behaviors.

Over the next few weeks I want to explore this concept from a variety of angles:
  • Workplace Relationships: You don’t want to be everyone’s best friend but at the same time you don’t want to close yourself off to the point where you alienate your co-workers.
  • Time: Using break time and lunch time wisely and taking time required to just be human.
  • Expectations: Realistic expectations for workloads and results should be shared by management and coworkers.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Realistic Expectations

In the month of October, each Monday, I will be writing a post on gaining peace of mind.

Your goals should always be slightly out of your reach … offering something for you to stress and strive for. However, they shouldn’t be so far out of your reach that you cannot possibly attain them. Unachievable goals set you up for failure and discouragement. In fact, it makes achieving any goals that much harder and having these kinds of goals wreaks havoc on your peace of mind.

I call it, The Biggest Loser Effect. On The Biggest Loser, it isn’t uncommon for people to lose five and even ten pounds in a week. So when we diet and exercise for that same week and only manage to lose just a pound (which is a healthy rate of weight loss), instead of feeling happy, we often agonize!

These people have devoted their entire days to losing weight. They work out for hours, they aren’t working, they are away from their families. Even the ones who get sent home, still have the powerful motivator of cameras chronicling their progress and the possibility of returning to the show in front of a national audience.

This is NOT the situation for you and me. We have jobs. We have lives that include cakes and cookies at work, dinners out with friends, church pot lucks and a host of social engagements, not to mention family and friends that aren’t into diet or exercise. We have busy schedules that don’t normally allow for hours of exercise every day.

Yet, we compare our success to this small, group of people who are going an extraordinary transformation with extraordinary circumstances.

You can apply The Biggest Loser Effect to any situation where you are looking at completely unrealistic expectations and wanting those kinds of results for yourself. Real life couples argue and go through rough patches. All office drama isn’t funny and inconsequential as it appears on a sitcom.

There is a quote from one of my favorite talk show host, Dennis Prager, and he is quoting a friend’s mom. She said, “The only happy people I know are people I don’t know very well.” Does this mean there are no happy people? Of course not. What it means is that truly happy people have a realistic happiness, there are still obstacles. There are still struggles but they have happiness in spite of those things. They aren’t living in paradise. They live in real life.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

It's a New Beginning

Dating for the over 40 set is not an oxymoron. You can still have an active and rewarding dating life even if you have attended or are planning to attend your 25th high school reunion. So what if you can remember a time before call waiting when you had to be at home with no one on the phone to get a call! LOL!

The Dating Goddess specializes in helping women over 40 get their groove back. After over 20 years of marriage, the Dating Goddess dated 91 men in a period of 3 1/2 years and used what she learned to help other women date more often and date better. Her 13 book series is called Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40. Whether you are never-married, divorced, or widowed titles like Date or Wait, Winning at the Online Dating Game, and Check Him Out Before Going Out, there is something for all of us.

I know for me, I hadaccepted that dating on the left of 40 will be harder. I've also believed that 'all of the good ones are taken'. I realize though that if I want something different, I need to do something different ... and that starts with my thinking.

I'm really looking forward to speaking with the Dating Goddess on how I can create my own dating success story.

Maybe I'll be The Dating Diva!

Monday, October 14, 2013

Food, Focus and Fitness

John Henry Creel of Mind Body Fitness isn't your average personal trainer. He's as interested in building your mind as he is your body.

In his book, C-Reel Results, he spends the first three chapters looking at transforming your thoughts and beliefs before getting into the nutrition and fitness.

In a passionate and enthusiastic interview John talks about why women shouldn't be afraid of weights and how weight training is the key to unlocking your metabolism.

Here are his three tips.

  1. Don't Wait to Get Some Weights! Everyone should invest in several sets of dumbbells (3-10 pounds for women to start and 10 - 25 pounds for men)
  2. Eat Less Sugar. Watch your sugar intake and make sure each meal has some veggies, some starch, some protein and a little fatty acids (found in fish oil, avacado and flaxseed)
  3. Adjust Your Attitude! What you think and believe is just as important as what you eat!
When it comes to losing weight or getting in shape, what do you struggle with?

Me Time!

In the month of October, each Monday, I will be writing a post on gaining peace of mind.

To paraphrase a common slogan. There is an 'I' in the word time and there is also a 'ME'! So it makes sense that we can be a little selfish with our time. We make time for everything and everyone else, we need to make time for ourselves. It can be as simple as a half-hour reading a book, taking a short walk or a warm bath, having a power nap or treating yourself to a good movie. We need to make time at least once a week (and that is minimum) to do something for ourselves.

The quanitity of time isn't as important as the quality of time. To do this though, we need to stop thinking of not having time for ourselves as some sort of badge of honor. In too many case, we look at doing too much or making too many sacrifices as a good thing; it shows our dedication. Yet, not taking time to rest and rejuvenate can make you fray around the edges. Your patience is short and if this goes on for too long you become resentful of the life you want so much.

You can make some time for yourself but it involves letting go of control and the desire for perfection - delegation. Spouses, family members, friends and even older children can be given some of your responsibilities. But you need to be able to let go. Here are three suggestions to make delegation easier.

1. Communicate your expectations but give some leeway. Let your son know that a clean kitchen means a swept floor, clean counter tops, no dishes in the sink and the garbage emptied. Let him know the time frame for completing that task (every night, after dinner before bedtime).Then allow him to do those things in his own way. Don't criticize because they do things differently or in another order than you. Focus on the end result and not the means for getting there.

2. Set a realistic bar. If you look for perfection both you (the delegator) and the one doing the work (the delegatee) will just be frustrated. Have a standard that they can meet and you can be happy with.

3. Don't just delegate boring and tedious tasks. Cleaning the kitchen is never fun, but maybe planning and cooking a meal or two a week is. Give a variety of assignments.

4. Show gratitude. Let them know that you appreciate what they are doing. You don't need to gush about it or put a bumper sticker on the car that says "My daughter does her chores." But a kind and thoughful word can go a long way.

5. Make your needs known. Let family members know that you need their help so that you can carve out a little bit of time for yourself. The only way people will know what you need is if you tell them!

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Future Guest: Eldon Taylor

Ever wonder why you think the way you do. What shaped your thought processes? And, why, is it so hard to change the way you are thinking?Author Eldon Taylor has the answers and provides them in his book Choices and Illusions.

Taylor sits at the intersection of science and spirituality possessing doctorates in psychology and metaphysics. He's devoted his professional career to studying the workings of the human mind - even being called as an expert witness on hypnosis and subliminal communication!

I can't wait to talk to Taylor on Get It Together Girl Radio. I'm sure it will be a fascinating discussion of how our minds work, why we think the way we do, and more importantly, how we can change our thinking and, subsequently, change our lives (of course, for the better).

Here is a trailer for the book.

Monday, October 7, 2013


The average American gets 14 paid days off a year. However, every year, that same average American loses two of those days because they don't use them.

Unfortunately, our Puritan work ethic has gone into overdrive and many feel that forgoing sleep, vacation days and in some cases, sacrificing relationships, is a badge of honor and a testament to how hard they work.

It's been said however that no one, on their death bed, ever wishes they'd spent more time at the office! Time for one's self be it an evening, a weekend, a staycation or a vacation is essential to one's well-being, peace of mind and ability to keep stress in check.

I took my third annual birthday trip to Edisto Island a few weeks ago. I love it there! It's quiet, peaceful and my birthday is a perfect time. Vacation season is over in mid-September but it is still warm enough to be enjoyed. I walk on the beach, eat at quaint restaurants, read, journal and do some soul-searching and goal-planning.

I return renewed, refreshed and ready to go.

Here are some photos of the beautiful Edisto Beach and Island.

Since it is also my last name, there is something about
the beach that just feels like home.

The beach at sunset.

Away from the beach, Edisto is still just as beautiful!

The Spanish Moss is spectacular!

  • Do you routinely use your vacation time and if not why?
  • Outside of a structured vacation, what do you do to relax, rejuvenate and release?

Learning to Let Go

In the month of October, each Monday, I will be writing a post on gaining peace of mind.

I said goodbye to my best friend less than a month ago. I also celebrated a birthday. Despite the Halle Berrys and Nace Graces of the world. At my age, it is probably time to move away from the dream of having my own kids. There are a ton of wonderful single mothers but I could never see myself choosing that route. Letting go is never easy but it is some times necessary.

No matter what I do, I cannot bring Marty back. Seeing as I'm not even dating, the chance of me having a kid are slim-to-none. So what to do now. How do I let go and move on?

I did some research and found these tips for letting go:

Accept the Truth and Be Thankful
With Marty, it's about being grateful. When it comes to kids, for me, it's more about acceptance. I am grateful for the almost 13 years of memories that I shared with Marty. He made me laugh on a daily basis! We were a good team. He added so much to my life and for that I will always be thankful. As far as kids go, I have had a wealth of incredible experiences and have been able to take advantage of a lot of amazing opportunities. I'm not sure I would have been able to do half of those things with a kid. The truth is now that I have to accept the fact that the choices I have made have led me to this point. There are other options but having my own baby, and family, the old-fashioned way isn't one of them.

Claim Ownership and Full Control Over Your Life
What happens now is up to me. It's not about anyone else. It's not about handing the reins over to someone else. If I need to let a dream die or find another one, those choices are mine and mine alone. There is no one else to blame and there is no one who can make my decisions for me.

Focus on Today
This is a big one for me. I can often get overwhelmed looking at the big picture. However, I have to remind myself that I can slow things down if I look at it one day, some times one hour at a time! I can't change what has happened and I cannot predict what will happen, all I can do is the best I can do right now!

The blog I 'borrowed' this from is a lot longer. If you'd like to read it in its entirety, click here.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Featured Guest: Kim Ades

Kim's book is What You Think
about Grows. We'll be discussing
the power of thinking and focus.
Not getting what you want? Here’s a simple question. Do you find yourself thinking more about what you want or what you don’t want? If you are like a lot of people (including me), you find yourself thinking about the negative more than the positive.

If you ask my dad, he’ll tell you that is the #1 reason I’m still single. I think about being single, a lot. I also think about the kinds of guys I don’t want a lot more than the kind of guys I do want. At my age though, I want something different than what I have always gotten. So I’m going to have to do something different.
I need to start by changing my thinking.

My guest Monday night (October 7) will be life coach, business woman, author and mother of five Kim Ades, her book is What You Focus on Grows. Kim says “When you’re thinking is off-track, so is everything in your life. The purpose of the book is to help you get on track and focus on what you truly want.”

There are several things I want but let’s focus on the top three: successful radio show, lose 50 pounds and … a husband! So I can’t wait to talk to Kim about what I need to start thinking about so that I can bring those things about.

There’s no time like the present!

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Marty Beach: A Life Well Lived

It's been almost three weeks since my partner of 13 years passed away. He outlasted every relationship I've ever had and he was there for me. There have been many tears over the past few weeks. He was a 9-pound dog but he had such personality and zest for life. He left a positive impact on everyone he met. He even made friends at the vet. When I'd pick him up the doctors and vet assistants would come out to say goodbye.

As I grieve his passing, I keep remembering how much he hated to see me cry. He'd watch me like a hawk because he could sense I was upset. At the first sign of a tear, he'd jump into my lap and lick the tears away! If I was writing a painful entry in my journal, he could tell. He would come over to me and put his paw on top of my right hand as if to say, "Stop writing, it's making you sad."

I think of those moments often now. I know he wouldn't want to see me sad and crying. So I remember the two of us curled up on the sofa or taking a little drive. I remember all of the silly songs I'd make up and sing to him.

The end came quickly and unexpectedly. I don't want to talk more about it because I'll start crying again. People that don't get dogs probably think I'm being silly to miss a four-legged 9-pound canine. However, I've lost my constant companion and soul mate.

They say diamonds are a girl's best friend. Forget that. I'd gladly trade the world's biggest diamond for just another hour with my Marty.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Mistakes will be Made

For the month of September, every Monday I'll be sharing some reflections of forty something years of living!

Thursday, September 26, 2013

So Far, So Good

Tonight will mark my fourth show on Get It Together Girl Radio. After a rocky start, I can see an improvement with every episode. I've realized that I really love doing a radio show. I love the actual show. I love recording promos. I love working with guests. I have found my passion.

But passion is nothing without commitment. And I am committed to growing my show, making it the best that it can be. What does this mean? It means that when I come home from my day job, I am working on my show in the evenings and on the weekends. It means that I am willing to invest what cash I have into promotion, advertising and what is needed to make my show better.

Commitment means seeking out the opinions of others and really listening to them, even if it means hearing something I don't like or agree with. Commitment means getting out of my comfort zone for the sake of my dream.

So ask yourself, what are you passionate about? Are you committed to doing what it takes to transform that passion from a nice idea to a tangible reality?

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Are You a Victim or a Victor? The Choice is Yours

Guest blogger Carol Graham is the author of Battered Hope, a memoir on her extraordinary life. She will also be the featured guest on Get It Together Girl Radio on Thursday, September 26 at 8:00 PM (EST)

The definition of Victor is: One who defeats an adversary; the winner in a fight, battle, contest, or struggle.

The definition of Victim is: a person who is deceived or cheated, by his or her own emotions or ignorance, or by the dishonesty of others.

I certainly was cheated and abused and hurt and taken advantage of by the dishonesty of others but I determined not to allow my emotions to overrule my intelligence. A wise man once told me "When you buy the thought, you buy the lie!" I learned how to say NO to negative thoughts, to defeatist ideas, to martyr attitudes. The more you do it, the better you get at it.

You can't be a Victor without going through a battle. The question is whether or not you choose to win or lose.

"V is for Victory!" That was what the doctor said when my daughter was delivered. "You got what you wanted!" All I ever wanted was a baby and I wasn't sure what the doctor meant. Did he think I might get something other than a baby? My 5 year old son said "I don't think she's cooked yet, mommy. She's all purple and shriveled and stuff." The doctor showed her to me. She had a birthmark on her forehead in the shape of a "V." She was born six weeks early and the pregnancy was touch and go from the start. I spent most of my pregnancy in the hospital and was told almost everyday - "We need to prepare you for the worst. The chance of you both surviving this pregnancy is doubtful." These doctors had no idea who they were dealing with.

By the time my daughter was born, I had already lived a life of trauma. This was just one more hurdle to overcome. It was sheer determination to keep a positive attitude that got me through. Not only did I get through, but my little bundle of joy registered a 10 on the Apgar score for newborns - the highest possible - a perfect 10!

When I decided to finally put pen to paper and write my memoir, Battered Hope, it took a great deal of courage. But I was familiar with courage - it had become second nature to me. I learned how to cope, how to thrive, how to overcome. Don't get me wrong, it was never easy. Just because you have had a bad experience doesn't make the next one easier - stronger, yes - easier, no. My memoir has 12 chapters and there is a minimum of one traumatic event in each chapter, oft times, more than one.

I had always regarded myself as a winner. I maintained that attitude no matter what happened. When I would throw a pity party, no one showed up because I never invited anyone. It was easier that way. I discovered that even if you thought you were a winner, if people knew all the trauma you were going through, they would label you a loser and let's face it, people don't want to be around a loser.

After my memoir was published, a lot of people who thought they knew me, including family, were amazed at what I had survived. I was always the rock that people depended on; the shoulder to cry on when they had problems. Little did they know that when I cried with them, I was also crying for myself.

I determined at a very young age, that if I made people laugh, it helped me to forget what I was going through. I maintained that attitude throughout my life. I have been married to the same man for 41 years and when asked what has kept our marriage together my answer is "I keep him laughing."

I have received countless positive reviews for Battered Hope, but the ones I find most interesting are the four negative ones. They all say the same thing "I don't believe it. It is a bunch of lies. No woman could have that much happen to her and still thrive." I would rather be called a liar than a bad writer so I accepted those reviews easily and one person that had the gall to say it to my face was met with a response she did not expect. I told her, "You are right. It was actually a lot worse than what I wrote, but I knew people like you wouldn't have been able to handle the whole truth!"

My question to you is: Are you a victim or a victor? The answer lies in how you look at it. Finding good in every situation may not be easy but it certainly helps you survive. It helps you maintain the attitude that you are a winner and not a loser. It helps you keep things in perspective.

It has been said that the definition of Success is "Getting up one more time after you have been knocked down." Never stop getting up, success is within reach but if you don't try, you become the victim.

My daughter is now in her late twenties and when she gets upset her "V" flares up. Whenever I see that, I am elated that I never gave up, but rose to victory in many arenas.

My name is Carol Graham and I recently published Battered Hope. Battered Hope is my true story of a strong, courageous woman overcoming insurmountable obstacles including cancer, rape, marital abuse, suicide attempt, jail, loss of a child and huge financial losses. A gripping, captivating novel.

Want to read more? Carol's blog Battered Hope can be found at

Monday, September 23, 2013

Put Yourself First

For the month of September, every Monday I'll be sharing some reflections of forty something years of living!

Last week, I spoke about my people-pleasing nature and how important it was for everyone to like me. I usually put other people first. I didn't want people to dislike me and I didn't like a lot of drama or friction, so I would sacrifice my happiness to make sure everything was running smoothly.

Over ten years ago, I was up late, working on a freelance project. I had accepted a ridiculous deadline and charged way below what the project was worth. I was tired. No, I was beyond tired. It was at this point that I had an epiphany. I realized that the only person struggling right now was me. The person who had hired me was probably fast asleep knowing that she was getting high-quality work for a fraction of the cost.

That brief, fleeting concept changed a lot of things. It was the beginning of me developing a backbone. I completed the assignment but when I turned it in I explained that the next time, with a deadline so close I would have to charge more ... or just say no. To my surprise, I wasn't met with anger or hostility. I actually got an apology.

I realized that when people ask for something, they realize that the answer might be 'no' and normally, that is okay with them. Denying a request wasn't a relationship ender. No one would hate me. I wasn't burning bridges. However, I was taking care of myself. People said no to me and I didn't have such extreme reactions.

So now when people ask me for something and I cannot accommodate their request, I can say no or counter with an offer that I can accomplish.

I've realized the importance of putting myself first. I know now that if I don't no one else will.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Buried in Debt? Here's your Shovel???

Author and financial planner Mark Wingo stopped by Get It Together Girl Radio to talk to us about changing your mindset and your bottom line when it comes to finances. Money is never just about money, there is a strong emotional component to managing your finances. Using money to address your personal issues or to keep up with the Joneses is always a recipe for disaster. As Mark, says in the interview, "I know the Joneses and trust me, you don't want to be like them!" LOL!

Looking wealthy and being wealthy are two different things. In addition to changing your money mindset, you also need to change how you handle money. It starts with a budget. Writing down what you spend and where that money will go is critical. Burying your head in the sand is not a sound financial plan! LOL!

Three things Mark talked about that will help you Get It Together:

1. Understand where your money is going.
Track what you are spending so you know where your money is going.Get a small notebook and write down what you are spending. Keep your receipts or review your bank account for debit transactions. Regardless of how you do it, get clear on what you are spending right now. Once you know what you are spending, you can start making different choices.

2. Develop a budget.
You have got to have a plan, a spending plan. Write out your expenses and plan on how you will be spending your money. There are tons of templates and samples out there to get you started. Just google budget template or spending plan template and you should find something to help you get going.

3. Change your thinking.
 Why is it important to have that $400 bag or drive that luxury car? If you are motivated by what others think or if you need to convince people that you are doing well, that's a red flag. It you are surrounded by things you have purchased because you 'deserve' it, you are also sliding quickly down a slippery slope. You do work hard and you do deserve nice things. But you also deserve the piece of mind that comes when you aren't stressed by financial worries and plagued by debt. Be less concerned about looking like wealth and start building wealth!

Click the player to the right to hear the entire interview!

For more information about Mark, his book and his financial literacy program, visit him at

Bullying in the Boardroom

Charmaine Hammond is a former corrections officer and mediator who speaks extensively on workplace violence. I spoke to her on Get It Together Radio to talk about the all-too-common phenomenon of ault bullying.

According the the Workplace Bullying Institute, fully 35% of American workers feel that they have been bullied at some point or another. Adult bullies are targeted for different reasons. While kids pick on other children who are different or weaker, adult bullies target people who do well in their positions, who are creative or who speak up for themselves.

Here are some things Charmaine suggested for dealing with bullies on the job.

1. Create a paper trail.
Get a notebook and record the date, time and details of each incident. Save emails and other documentation as well. If this were an episode of Law & Order, we'd be talking about 'preserving the evidence.'

2. Speak up.
First start by trying to speak to the bully directly. In several instances, especially if the person is naturally gruff and assertive, they may not even know how their behavior is being perceived. If speaking to the bully doesn't work, try speaking to the boss or Human Resources.

3. Help Out
If you see someone being bullied, offer your help. Don't let this co-worker suffer in silence. Dealing with bullies is essential to creating a positive workplace and even if you are not being targeted, you should work with others to create the kind of work environment where everyone can succeed.

My interview with Charmaine is available by clicking on the player to the right.

For more information about Charmaine, workplace violence, or even the memoir on her pet Toby, visit her online at

Monday, September 16, 2013

Everyone Doesn't Have to Like Me

For the month of September, every Monday I'll be sharing some reflections of forty something years of living!

I half-jokingly tell people that I am 'naturally popular'. I am an extrovert and have never had a problem meeting people and making friends. It's always been this way. Yet when I was younger, I'd say until my early 30's, I needed everyone to like me. When someone didn't, I'd wreck my brain trying to figure out why.

This also made me a people pleaser. I didn't want to have anyone upset with me. I became the girl who couldn't say no. If a friend was in a bind or needed something, I would be there ... even if it set me back. As a freelance writer, I would undercharge and accept unrealistic deadlines.

Then, one night when I was up late working on a project where I had agreed to do too much work for too little money and with not enough time that I came to a realization, actually two.

  1. The only person suffering with these unrealistic expectations was me. Everyone else was getting what they wanted.
  2. The world wouldn't end if I pushed back a little. Other people said no, so why couldn't I?
So I started doing a better job of setting boundaries. I was shocked to realize that I didn't lose friends and people didn't hate me if I said I couldn't do something. I also realized the power of the counter-offer. I can't do what you asked but this is what I can do. 

Because people pleasing is in my nature, I occasionally find myself doing too much for the people in my life but it doesn't happen as frequently (i.e. all the time).

I also realized that it is okay if people don't like me. Maybe it is me and maybe it's them. Either way, it is nothing to lose sleep over.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Relationships End

For the month of September, every Monday I'll be sharing some reflections of forty something years of living!

In high school, I thought I'd have the same friends for life. I had four girlfriends and I imagined us growing old together a la The Golden Girls. Today, I am only good friends with one of them. The rest of us just grew apart. It used to make me sad. Now I just accept it as a part of life.

Even with my best friend, the only relationship from that gang of four that lasted, things have changed. I've moved a bajillion times and haven't lived in my hometown for decades now. She's gotten married and had kids. Things have changed. Yet, at the same time, we've grown and matured along a similar path. This has allowed us to remain close as zip codes, careers and marital statuses have changed.

Over the years, people have come into my life and left just as quickly. Others have forged a strong bond with me similar to that I'd had back in my high school days. I've realized that there is a lot of truth to that saying that some people are only in your life for a reason and some for a season.

Another thing I've realized about relationships is that water truly does seek its own level. No matter where I've lived - Ohio, Maryland, California, Arizona or North Carolina, my friends have always shared a set of similar characteristics. It seems odd but I seem to attract the same kinds of people. And the amazing thing is that they are all good people!

Still some of us briefly crossed paths and a few of them have remained in my life. For all of them, I am grateful.

Even when a relationship runs its course, it doesn't mean that it is a bad thing. Some things just end and there is no judgement to it, it's just life.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

It's Here: Get It Together Girl Radio!

Tonight is the night.  After months of planning and preparation, I am launching my own BlogTalkRadio show with Get It Together Girl Radio! Like the workbooks, the show will focus on the little things you can do and changes you can make that will make a major difference in your life.

We'll talk about organization and time management (but I promise you it won't be boring!). We'll talk about relationships (not just romantic ones but family, friends and workplace relationships too). We'll talk about health and wealth. We'll talk about setting and achieving goals and living your dreams!

This is sort of like coming full circle for me. My degree is in broadcast journalism and I worked in radio for several years after college. However, eating shouldn't be optional and cars run better on gas than fumes so I made a career change. People who know me know that this project makes sense for me and the person that I am. A radio show is definitely within my wheelhouse. For me, it is living a dream.

I am truly excited about this. I'm lining up great guest, covering amazing topics and looking forward to calls from listeners and chatting with them.

The live show airs Thursday nights at 8:00 p.m. (EST). If you miss the live show, you can always visit the archive and replay the show when it is convenient by going to

I hope you share even a little bit of the my enthusiasm. I would love to hear your voices on the show. Call in! Chat with me!

Also if you or anyone you know would be interested in being a guest, email me at karyn

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Get It Together Girl Radio

Tomorrow is the day. It is the debut of my weekly talk show, Get It Together Girl Radio, airing Thursdays at 8:00 p.m. (EST) on BlogTalkRadio.

Like my workbooks, Get It Together Girl Radio, is about starting where you are and using what you have to get what you want. If it's something you need to get together, we'll talk about it. So far the show is structured to cover several major areas over the course of a month

  • 1st Week - Saving Time and Organizing Your Space: This is one of the quickest ways to reduce stress so we'll talk about organizing the various rooms and spaces in the home, saving time at work, with the kids... Sure  organization isn't the sexiest of subjects, but we'll make it fun!
  • 2nd Week - Relationships: Sure we'll delve into romantic relationships but we'll also explore friendships, family relationships, interacting with co-workers. Heck, we'll even talk about your relationship with yourself.
  • 3rd Week - Wealth and Health: You need enough wealth and good health if you want to truly enjoy your life. We'll talk about repairing your credit, ways to save, changing your outlook at money. We'll talk about ways to eat more veggies, workouts/exercise, and swap favorite recipes.
  • 4th Week - Live Your Dreams: The last week in every month is devoted to goal-setting and living your dreams. We'll discuss ways to make achieving your goals more realistic, we'll also hear from people who have achieved their goals and those who are living their dreams.
  • 5th Week - If there is a fifth week in the month it will be either devoted to callers or to a topic I've selected.
You can listen to the show at If you listen live, you can call-in to the show. However, if you can't catch the live show visit the link above to listen to an archived version of the show.
I hope you'll listen and I hope you'll call in!

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Busy Isn't Always Effective

As a trainer, I often send out emails regarding classes and schedules and I know for a fact that a number of my co-workers don’t bother to read them. They say to me with pride, “I don’t have time to read that stuff. I have a job to do.”

It may be a day or two later, but some of these very busy people will contact me, and they will ask questions that I have already addressed and answered in the email that they couldn’t be bothered to read.

Being busy is not the same as being effective. The irony is that these people waste time by trying to save time.

Busy people are devoted to multi-tasking. They write e-mails while on a conference call. They return phone calls while trying to read a report. How effective is it when the calls takes twice as long to make, the email is riddled with typos and time is wasted reading and re-reading the report because they weren’t paying attention?

As my mother would say, “If you don’t have time to do it right, when are you going to find the time to do it again?”

It sounds like heresy but you get more accomplished if you focus on one thing at a time. Take 30 seconds to read the email. When you are on a critical call, be on the call and not doing something else. If you have a document to proofread, proof read it.

Complete your tasks sequentially and don’t waste time by jumping back and forth. Every time you stop one thing and start another, you lose time shifting gears and regaining your focus.

If you must multi-task make sure one of those tasks is very simple: talk on the phone while stuffing envelopes or doing some light filing. I often return phone calls in the early evening while I’m walking my dog. However, if both tasks require your attention, set aside a block of time to complete each one.

Be better than busy, be effective.

Monday, August 26, 2013

What Our Parents Taught Us

Eventually most parents have that moment when they realize that they said something to their kids that their parents had said to them. I don't even have kids but I know I have had those moments with kids in my family.

My mom died when I was fifteen. At that time, she'd try to talk to me and impart some wisdom and life lessons. I would often roll my eyes or think to myself, "What could you possibly know about anything?!?" It took a few years but I realized as I got older that she did know what she was talking about most of the time. Since then, barely a day has passed when I haven't heard her words in my head. I've even found myself sharing some of her advice with friends and co-workers.

I think it is a sign of maturity when we begin to see our parents as real humans and not superheroes. It's also a sign when we can learn from them, both what they got right and what they got wrong.

Learning from your parents involves working what they did right into your own life; taking their advice and their lessons as your own. However, it also involves looking at what they did wrong and making the decision to do things differently. You do not have to make the mistakes of your parents your mistakes and, ultimately, your children's mistakes.

The cycle of abuse is a cycle because we feel powerless to do anything different. Our parents dysfunction becomes our dysfunction because it is what we know. We know what we know and the unknown always looks scary and difficult - even if what we know isn't very good.  Yet, it doesn't have to be. We can choose to do something different, to have something different and to be something different. This doesn't mean it will be an easy path to take or a quick solution to your problems.

Breaking the cycle could involve confronting your accusers, seeking professional help or just being aware of your actions and the decisions you are making. If you need to so something, whatever it is, do it. Just remember that you have to do through the rain to get to the rainbow. Your hard work will pay off for you, your children and your children's children. It is worth the effort.

Thursday, August 22, 2013


It's not just a tasty seafood dish (especially when it is fried!). The phenomenon of 'catfishing' is something that could only happen to the extent and frequency it does in our 21st century cyber-society. A catfish is someone who lures someone into a relationship by pretending to be someone they are not. They use other people's photos, make up elaborate lives and lies and actually develop relationships with people using these fake identities.

The MTV show Catfish is all about getting the catfish to fess up and meet the person they have been stringing along. We are well into the second season and so far there has only been one couple who were who they said they were. Everyone else is found out to be a fake. Some of them are purposely being deceptive but most tell a similar story. They were unhappy with themselves and created this fake persona to feel better about themselves. They fell into a relationship and didn't know how to get out of it once they were so far in.

It is scary that so many young people feel this badly about themselves that they would go to this extreme. Honestly I don't understand how pretending to be someone else - someone "better-looking" or thinner or "more interesting" can help you feel better about yourself. I certainly don't understand how stringing some unwitting and unknowing person along could be seen as a positive move for the 'catfish'.

On the other hand, the person being duped often ignores flagrant signs and continues in this 'relationship' often for years. Yes, these people enter into exclusive relationships with people they have never met.

The need for acceptance and love is so strong among these people that they are willing to live a lie or accept the lies they are being told.

It's sad really and I don't know what to tell these people. Maybe I'd tell them that - only real life is real. To the catfish I'd say that life isn't not always happy or fun or what we want it to be. Being someone else isn't an option. To the person being catfished I'd say that avoiding the truth isn't an option either. Believing lies will never make them the truth no matter how hard you believe them.

I watch the show because it is as fascinating as it is sad.