Words of Wisdom

Graduation season is upon us. As students (high school and college) prepare to close one door and walk boldly through another, oftten celebrities are on hand to offer their words of wisdom. Actors, musicians, authors, politicians and comedians who have succeeded in their professions often have some good advice to share. Here are just a few excerpts from past graduation addresses.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice."
- Steve Jobs, Standford, 2005

"I think people will remember us for who we were, not how many records we sell, or how much money we make. Because I have always said that I have always counted my blessings far more often than I've counted my money."
- Dolly Parton, University of Tennessee, 2009

""We do not need magic to change the world; we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: We have the power to imagine better."
- J.K. Rowling, Harvard, 2008



"Wishing for the end to AIDS and extreme poverty in Africa is like wishing that gravity didn't make things so damn heavy. We can wish it, but what the hell can we do about it? Well, more than we think. We can't fix every problem … but the ones we can, we must."
- Bono, University of Pennsylvania, 2004



"You are about to enter the next phase of your life at a time of great uncertainty. You will be called upon to help restore a free market that is also fair to all who are willing to work; to seek new sources of energy that can save our planet; to give future generations the same chance that you had to receive an extraordinary education."
- Barack Obama, Norte Dame, 2009

"For in the final analysis, our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this small planet, we all breathe the same air, we all cherish our children's futures, and we are all mortal."
- John F. Kennedy, American University, 1963


"Life is like one big Mardi Gras, but instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if they like what they see, you'll have more beads than you know what do with."
- Ellen DeGeneres, Tulane University, 2009



"A good person means someone with a good heart, a sense of caring for the welfare of others, a sense of commitment, a sense of responsibility. Education and the warm heart, the compassion heart—if you combine these two, then your education and knowledge will be constructive. Then you are yourself on the way to becoming a happy person."
- Dalai Lama, Emory Univeristy, 1998

Hyper Hyperbole

Football players have been very vocal about their feelings in regards to the NFL lockout. They don’t feel they are being treated fairly. Whether that is true or not, is a debate to be had on another blog. What is relevant here is the disturbing trend towards hyperbole or choosing words that over dramatize a situation. Word choice can quickly make a bad situation worse.

In the case of football players, they are quick to equate their situation to slavery. Multi-millionaire athletes comparing themselves to slaves. If that doesn’t sound ridiculous and overblown, I don’t know what is. Slaves did not get paid … at all. Slaves were subject to extreme beatings and worse from their owners. They were helpless and had no control over their fates or their families. It was not uncommon to have families separated with wives and children being sent to different plantations. Slaves didn’t have their pick of women and the ability to live in the best neighborhoods with the biggest houses. They didn’t have agents whose sole purpose was to get them the best deal and the ability to earn even more money through endorsements. Slaves were denied an education. They didn’t receive scholarships.

How often do we do the same thing? How often do we choose words that help make a bad situation worse? We aren’t just sad, we’re devastated. Someone wasn’t just angry with us, they were furious. Using words that make our situations larger than life often helps us gain sympathy and support. It often gives us the attention we crave but at what cost.

If everything is catastrophic, what happens when something actually catastrophic happens? Remember the boy that cried wolf. He cried it so often, when it wasn’t warranted, that when the wolf really was there, no one cared to listen. We also want to be careful with our word choice because we can make ourselves feel worse with the words we choose. Doesn’t ‘devastated’ feel worse than ‘kind of sad’? Isn’t ‘humiliated’ worse than ‘embarrassed’? We want to choose words and feeling that are easier to overcome.

Consider this scenario. On this particular morning you: lose your keys, spill coffee on your new outfit, have a terrible time getting the kids up and moving, get stuck in traffic and after you get to work realize you left your glasses on the nightstand and your cell phone in the kitchen. Yes, this is shaping up to be a bad day. Is your day ruined or off to a rocky start? The words you chose help determine how you view the rest of your day. Ruined implies your whole day is shot. A rocky start implies that it will get better.

Which do you choose?

Word Power: Addiction

In this five-part series, we'll be looking at the power that certain words have to color our realities and change our perceptions. Words matter! Choose them carefully.

The other day, while waiting to check out at the grocery store, I made small talk with the woman behind me. As she placed two 12-packs of Pepsi on the belt, she causally remarked that she was ‘addicted’ to Pepsi. I smiled. If pressed the issue, I don’t think she would have really meant that her Pepsi ‘problem’ was quite that extreme. I’m pretty positive she wouldn’t sell her hard-earned belongings or steal from trusted family members for a fix of that frothy carbonated confection. She probably wouldn’t put her job in jeopardy because of her need for a Pepsi fix.

Addiction is another one of those words we often just throw around without really thinking about its meaning. We are addicted to Pepsi, email, chocolate, video games, Facebook and even our favorite television shows. But I ask, is it really that serious?

There are habits and then there are addictions. Pepsi consumption might be an unhealthy habit but has it really reached addictive proportions? When we label something an addiction, we immediately make it that much harder to overcome.

And when it comes to overcoming, we don’t need to make anything more difficult than it already is. Addiction implies a lack of control. The object of our addiction has the control, we don’t. So, being addicted sort of lets us ‘off the hook.’ Addiction is bigger than us.

Some addictions are very real and of course, I’m not trying to belittle those, however, I am targeting the people who use the term casually – without much thought. When we do that, we do a disservice to the people who are really and legitimately are struggling with addiction.

If you have a habit, you have a choice. You can change it or you can accept it. It’s up to you. You are in control.

I had a bad ‘fast food’ habit. It was costing me money and costing me pounds. I decided to give it up for Lent. The first couple days were hard but after that, I was fine. I love television however, it doesn’t stop me from living my life or getting my work done. It’s a habit I can live with. It’s not, however, an addiction.

Watch your words! When it comes to habits and addictions, the question is a simple one. Who’s in control?